why I will almost certainly remain incel until I die and why my death probably won’t be from natural causes
Another long post about me. Good thing here is that facts are visually ordered so if you find one of them boring you can skip it and read the another one.
WARNING: this post contains dangerous amounts of facts, logic, common sense, cause and effect, realistic assessment and honesty. All of these things are very harmful to TAC fools and everybody else who has some kind of an agenda.
In this post I will try to explain, as briefly as possible, why it is almost certain that I will always remain incel and why things will probably end badly. In order to this I must talk about past and the present. Once that is explained the future will seem quite predictable, at least for reasonable people. I decided upon this post for two reasons. First reason is the constant decline of my health and situation in general. The second reason are occasional questions I get from people upon them hearing that I’ve been in two relationships and had sex with four women – they seem confused and ask me what’s so abnormal about my life or why can’t I just go on with my life despite losing my virginity at a late age. What also inspired me for this post are kind of videos Stefan Molyneux makes every once in a while about a certain subject – fact-packed and straight to the point (I must say I really enjoy watching those lately). Sure, there will be some talk about feelings, as the entire point of discussing incel is to discuss feelings it causes, but all in a context of some very harsh facts. So, what is the goal of this post? The goal is to show that, despite the deceiving numbers of women I was nominally in a relationship or had sex with, my life was completely abnormal. These numbers can create an illusion of a normal life only when cherry picked while the other, much more somber facts, are ignored. In reality, my situation is catastrophic and there can be no talk of living my life normally. Anyway, yeah. 2 relationships, 4 women I had sex with. Since one of them was a girl I was in a relationship with while we had sex that’s 5 women altogether. But we need go further back in order to examine all the pretty nasty facts. We’ll be going chronologically.
A fitting background
FACT 1- SINCE EARLY TEENAGE YEARS UNTIL THE AGE OF 23 I WAS CRIPPLED BY AN EXTREME PHOBIA I CALL LOVE-SHYNESS, WHICH RUINED SEVERAL CRUCIAL OPPORTUNITIES FOR NORMAL DEVELOPMENT
It’s hard to believe it now, but, as explained in this article , there was a time when I was the one who rejected potential dates and girlfriends. Imagine me at that time. Forget making out or even holding hands. It was seen as an impractical fantasy. Sex? Sex was seen as something from a different planet, something I will never experience. No, forget all these things. I’m talking about the fact that I was UNABLE TO FIND A COURAGE TO MEET 15 OR 16 YEAR-OLD GIRLS IN FUCKING PUBLIC PARKS DESPITE TALKING TO SOME OF THEM FOR MONTHS. This very first fact should actually be the most frightening one to a intelligent reader. It meant that something was very wrong from the earliest days and that I was off to a bad start. That alone was a huge prerequisite that something might go wrong in the future – and it did. FACT 2 – DUE TO A VERY SEVERE LOVE-SHYNESS I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO MEET A GIRL I’D TALK TO ONLINE OR ON SMS UNTIL I WAS 18 YEARS-OLD. The only reason why I finally met one was the fact that I was drunk enough to arrange a meeting with her. Nothing happened on this date as there was no attraction nor was I able to make any initiative but it finally broke the ice. Did this mean the end of love-shyness? Of course not. It was to last for another five years. FACT 3 – BECAUSE OF THESE PROBLEMS I HAD TO WAIT TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK WITH A GIRL AND STOP BEING AFRAID OF EVEN TALKING TO FEMALE FRIENDS OF MY MALE FRIENDS UNTIL I WAS 18
I had to turn 18 to stop being even nervous around girls my other friends would bring along and having any real discussions with them seemed impossible. FACT 4- WHILE I DID HAVE MY FIRST KISS AT THE AGE OF 18 IT WAS INITIATED BY THE OTHER PARTY. NOTHING ABOUT IT HELPED TO BREAK MY PHOBIA AND I WAS AS INCAPABLE OF INITIATING A KISS AFTER IT AS I WAS BEFORE
Not much to explain here. This is a first example of how numbers can deceive. Getting my first kiss only a few months after a first date seems like an ok progress. But my first kiss was awkward, lasted for about 3 seconds and I never had the chance to do it again with the same person – which meant that there could be no relationship and thereby no chance of anything more, even just more kissing. In order to understand more read this
FACT 5- VIRTUALLY ALL OF MY ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL EXPERIENCES, INCLUDING KISSING, WERE ACHIEVED WITH GIRLS I MET ONLINE OR ON SMS FLERT SERVICES
Here’s an interesting fact- if it weren’t for these I’d not only be a virgin at 25, I’d be a kissless virgin at 25. After I finally broke the ice and found the courage to meet girls in real life at the age of 18 this remained my only source to meet girls. I had never even kissed a girl I initially met in real life.Facts 5, 6 and 7 are all about her, The Fatal One. The one whose supposed defense haters are using to basically say that I’m very bad, many years after there was nothing left to defend. Of course, her (extremely long) story is yet to come but this will be a first real introduction into what she brought to my life and what she meant. I know that most people won’t understand no matter how hard I tried but I’ll still do my best. FACT 6 – THE FATAL ONE PART ONE – WHAT SHE BROUGHT AND WHAT SHE MEANT
It’s hard to describe the impact of The Fatal One using nothing but words. Maybe I should try by saying this – everything she introduced was completely incomparable to anything that happened before and once she was gone (the first part of this story happened in 2007) I would not experience anything new until 2011/2012. However, this, while being true doesn’t do the story any justice. Fatal One was absolutely everything a 19 year-old love-shy could dream of – she was a younger, very attractive girl in love with a guy and ready to take most if not all of the initiative. In fact, she was everything any guy could dream of at any age. First date with her was a stunning success that virtually became a legendary event few weeks after it happened. It was just shockingly successful. After the first hour she told me that she likes me and wants to be in a relationship with me. The date lasted for six full hours. It was the most unique moment in my life. Pure magic. The most important thing about this is that it was very serious from the beginning. She wanted a serious relationship, no ifs and buts. And, no, I am not imagining this . My blog had described and will described a huge number of failures with women and will describe even more – why would I imagine this being an initial success? Everything she brought was unprecedented, including the physical part. Never before her did I experience anything like a kiss that lasted for longer than a few seconds. With her I kissed for hours. Never before her did I experience any petting but I did experience it with her. All this was, like I said, completely unprecedented but the physical part was not this relevant – for mattered was her desire to be with me. Remember that when it comes to facts 7 and 8. FACT 7 – “THE FATAL ONE” BROUGHT UNPRECEDENTED THINGS – BUT ACTUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HER WERE EXTREMELY LIMITED
Here are some disturbing facts – before she stopped wanting me to be with me we saw each other for only four times. Those four times were in a very short time period of between July 1 and July 12. Altogether, I saw her in real life only six times. We were never at each others homes, were never undressed in front of each other and, of course, we never had sex. But all of that was highly irrelevant to somebody as inexperienced or unable to get another girl as I was – what mattered is that she was the only girl up to then who wanted to be with me. FACT 8- AFTER “THE FATAL ONE” NO LONGER WANTED ME THE REGRET AND DESPAIR BROUGHT ABOUT HORRIBLE RESULTS
I can’t go into details here but the reason why The Fatal One no longer wanted to be with me was a huge mistake I made, not her decision for which I couldn’t be blamed. This meant two things- 1. that I was going to do everything to bring her back 2. that I was to be completely devastated if I don’t bring her back. This, coupled with the mixed signalss I was initially getting after she no longer wanted to be with me meant that I was in for a disaster. I was initially devastated during the summer, when I spent 50 days for her to get back. When she finally did she told me she no longer likes me, which sent me into a complete breakdown. After that she agreed to meet me four times from September to early November 2007 but canceled every single of these meetings. It meant that I missed a chance with another girl who was very interested in me due to my problems connected to this one (in the end we did meet more than 6 years later and there was no chemistry, which I described here. It was only in early November 2007 that she told me how she’ll never give me a chance. That was the beginning of an even worse era -my sleeping schedule was a disaster, my diet was horrible, I’d go to her neighborhood in attempts to see her. Since I couldn’t find another girl I gradually became more and more obsessed with this missed opportunity as time passed, not less. Entire period of second part of 2007 and entire 2008 was a hellish nightmare in which 95 percent of my thoughts were about her. I heard she found a boyfriend and lost her virginity to him, which devastated me even further. This should be of no surprise, as she was my only memory in terms of dating and relationship, a person who offered me everything I dreamed of once. In the end I could no longer stand the pain and I wrote that I was going to kill her on a foreign forum without mentioning her name. The administrator reported me to the Interpol who reported me to local police and, in a disgusting travesty or justice, they accused me simply for being honest with them and telling them this person even exists. I spent a month in detention and was acquitted later but trauma and hatred of cops remained. If I actually had a weapon I would have surely killed her – I was destroyed to that point. It wasn’t until I met another girl, in 2009, that my obsession lessened by any degree. But by then it was too late, as you will understand later on. Oh, and it meantime between my stay in prison and an end of obsession I tried to kill myself but what is so strange about that after everything I’ve been through? FACT 9- CONSEQUENCES OF A MISTAKE WITH “THE FATAL ONE” WERE TRULY HORRIFIC
Being in detention was unpleasant and most noncels will see that as a worst thing. It’s not. In fact, it’s pretty much nothing compared to other, much more serious consequences. -Failure with her was probably when my life ended. You see, the main 100 percent certain consequence of this disaster was that it meant that I would not lose my virginity with a woman who had taken all the initiative. This was to have even more terrible implications for the future, my first real girlfriend was to be much prone to initiative – with disastrous consequences. All this delayed the loss of my virginity for around 5 years, by the time it had become too late. -There is one other consequence which might be even worse but in this case I cannot be certain that this would have been the case – what is we would have been together up to now? This would mean that my mistake was a virtual suicide. -This event, happening between high school and college, was the beginning of a different lifestyle in which I discovered things like the term incel, love-shy forum, feminist and MRA movements. It all turned me into a different person, removed from most people in my age and location. If I had been with her I’d probably be ignorant of all that and a normal person today. – The event of my arrest was the beginning of my desire for the government to find me a girlfriend – I realized that if the state could just arrest somebody so easily it could also help people like me. It wasn’t until Franklin really explained why this won’t happen that I abandoned the idea. -My arrest also destroyed any confidence I had in the police. Right now I wouldn’t tell them of any crime I’ve witnessed being committed – and already did so several times. I would simply never co-operate with them unless to my obvious benefit. FACT 10- TODAY I AM GENUINELY SORRY FOR NOT KILLING THE FATAL ONE
That’s correct. After experiencing even worse disasters than the one with her (which was already huge enough) today I am extremely sorry for not killing her and myself. It would save me and probably the world a lot of pain. In all honesty, if I were to want to harm anybody now the whole scene of killing her would look like a scene from a Dysney movie in comparison. But all this is due to the fact that I’ve not received proper help – and by proper help I don’t mean psychiatry. FACT 11- AFTER THE FATAL ONE IT TOOK ME ALMOST TWO AND A HALF YEARS TO EVEN KISS ANOTHER GIRL, AND NOT FOR THE LACK OF TRYING
I haven’t kissed a girl between July 6, 2007 and November 21, 2009. That’s 2 years and over 4 months. I wanted to, but couldn’t find one. It wasn’t for a lack of trying – I did go on some dates during that time. It’s not difficult to imagine me spiraling into such obsession when you consider this fact along with the fact of what The Fatal One brought. FACT 12 – ME EVEN ENTERING A RELATIONSHIP IN 2009 WAS CONNECTED TO EXTREME DIFFICULTIES DUE TO LOVE-SHYNESS, FEAR OF ANOTHER DISASTER AND THE GIRL HERSELF
The girl I met 2009, who later became my first girlfriend, was not like The Fatal One. Despite us immediately finding a connection she didn’t immediately say she likes me. All of this frustrated me so much that after two first dates, all of which were without any kissing or touching at all, I decided to ignore her for 3 months. We didn’t meet at all for over 3 months, after which she finally said she does like me… but now there’s way another problem. I didn’t like her looks. It took me another 3 months to finally get over that, months during which I had some other problems unrelated to that which stopped me from immediately pursuing her. I didn’t settle for her, not at all. I wanted to be with her and was amazed by her intelligence. It’s just that I couldn’t get over her looks. Also, I was very scared of even more pain and had good reason to be – experience with The Fatal One was a good warning sign of how vulnerable my situation was. I finally got over all that and we entered a relationship in November 2009. Due to her failure to be aggressive and looks, as well as my love-shyness, fears and personal problems it took us 7 months to finally enter a relationship, which was my first ever.
FACT 13- MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP WAS BEREFT OF SEVERAL IMPORTANT PARTS – TO A POINT THAT IT PROBABLY WASN’T EVEN A REAL RELATIONSHIP Let’s get the most important thing out of the way- we never even had sex !! During the 8 months of what was supposed to be a relationship my girlfriend and me never had sex. Even though we would usually see each other at least once a week we never ever had sex. This wasn’t because either of us wanted it to be so – it was due to my love-shyness and her inexperience. None of us was ready to take the initiative and we kept postponing and postponing it. Sadly, we hardly even surpassed everything I’ve done with The Fatal One in only a few dates. We eventually broke every deadline I had set in my had and failed to have sex from November 2009 to July 2010, which is when she left me. Her reason was that she could no longer stand the bad vibe I was spreading – which was understandable, since it was caused by the very fact I could not have sex with my own girlfriend. FACT 14 – THE SOLE EVENT OF BREAKING UP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND WAS CONNECTED TO A HUGE TRAUMA ITSELF – PROBABLY THE GREATEST ONE IN MY LIFE
When my ex-girlfriend left me she had this idea that we should meet up and have sex the next day. Of course, the idea was highly impractical – for example, it requested that a virgin who never bought condoms now buys them on Sunday when almost all the shops were closed. It also expected two complete shy virgins to just have sex as if the last 8 months weren’t an indicator of it not being all that easy. In any case, it didn’t happen and the entire day ended traumatically. She did arrive by bus near my house and we started walking towards it but I was extremely angry due to events of the previous day and walked much faster than she did. She finally said that she’s not going to put up with such behavior from me and started walking back to the bus station. We took the bus to a station away from my home and talked there. I realized that I just fucked up and ruined my chance to possibly have sex for the first time, possibly even keep here, but she didn’t want to change her mind anymore. It was over. As in the case of The Fatal One, all I was left with was regret and bitterness. FACT 15 – AFTER MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND LEFT ME I ENTERED A NEW, PREVIOUSLY UNIMAGINABLE PERIOD OF DESPERATION
The calamitous end to my first relationship was a horrible event for me. It meant that my willingness to give another girl a chance after the disastrous Fatal One was a mistake – I ended up getting even more hurt. I stopped caring about pretty much anything, spending weeks without leaving my house or even taking a shower. I’d just sit in front of my computer, smelling like urine and with unkempt hair and beard. The end of a relationship with her was also the true end of any normal life I might have had. It was during that period that I first became desperate enough to ask my mother for sex. FACT 16- I STOPPED BEING LOVE-SHY IN 2011, AT THE AGE OF 23 – ALMOST 8 YEARS AFTER MY FIRST CHANCES WITH WOMEN
When I finally did stop being love-shy, in 2011, it was an anti-climatic event. Despite my first relationship being a complete disaster I did gather enough experience with kissing to finally manage to kiss a girl first. It was an ugly girl who I didn’t like at all, and hence probably why I found the courage at all. In any case, it was too little, too late. FACT 17 – NO LONGER BEING LOVE-SHY CHANGED NOTHING
It happened too late and amounted to almost nothing at all. I didn’t start approaching women in nightclubs or anywhere else. I knew I was too clumsy and damaged by that point for something like that to succeed. Neither could I ever count on anything like a wingman. The idea that I should have just started approaching random women once I was rid of love-shyness is only sound in theory. In reality I knew I’d fail and that I never developed any necessary skills for seduction. What me no longer being love-shy amounted to was the ability to express interest or initiate something, all of which would usually end in rejection. It only mattered in the cases where girl would like me too, and those will be sparse. FACT 18 – IT TOOK ME ALMOST TWO MORE YEARS AFTER MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP AND ONE YEAR AFTER BEATING LOVE-SHYNESS TO FINALLY LOSE MY VIRGINITY
Yes, I had to wait that long after these milestones, all of which caused me immense frustration and pain. Not much to say here. Almost 2 years had to pass since that July 2010 break-up and my loss of virginity in May 2012. Almost two years of reliving that July 2010 day. All in early twenties, a peak of my romantic and sexual urges, which was horrible to my psyche. FACT 19 – I LOST MY VIRGINITY BUT…
This is one of the facts where true stupidity and vileness of The Atheist Cult come to light. They somehow believe that all of my problems are or should be solved because I am no longer a virgin. Of course, that alone is irrational nonsense but let us imagine some facts around my loss of virginity. – I lost it not long after turning 24, around 7 years later than my nations average. – I had sex with the girl I lost my virginity to twice, each time lasting for about 30 seconds. – The girl I lost it to was never my girlfriend and in fact had a boyfriend all the time. – I was mercilessly dumped after having sex for just two times. – After being dumped I was brutally insulted by the girl in question, being called an extremely lousy lay and suggested to kill myself. FACT 20 – BUT, BUT, YOU HAD SEX WITH 4 WOMEN !
I did. However, what matters was context. In every of these four cases there was something extremely sad and abnormal. FACT 21 – I DIDN’T BLACKMAIL THE SECOND GIRL I HAD SEX WITH, BUT..
Feminist freaks often say I blackmailed this woman for sex. This is not true but it is true that she was somewhat coerced, with good reasons. What must be pointed out first is that this woman already did a bad thing to me before but I won’t talk about that here. In any case, during the event I did describe before she offered sex and changed her mind TWICE, all of it fake – she later admitted that her offers and changes of mind were all a part of a deliberate game to fuck me up. So, every time some femifascist loser cries about blackmail and coercion before the final act he/she is as dumb and as uninformed as historian claiming that The Gleiwitz Accident was an actual Polish attack ! In any case, after her second “change of mind”, in a state of complete disarray and anger, I posted her picture on this blog, to which she finally seriously offered sex to take it down. It was the right thing to do and I would do it again. Anybody who doesn’t think it was not the right thing to do has either not read the previous facts or is just a fool. In that moment sex with her was a million dollar prize – sex with anybody was. Imagine how much a relationship was worth then ! It turned out ok and she initially liked it, so we started a relationship, so we come to the next fact… FACT 22 – MY ONLY “ACTUAL” RELATIONSHIP (CONTAINING SEX) LASTED A MONTH AND A HALF AND WAS A LONG DISTANCE ONE – WITH AN UNSTABLE PARTNER !
That’s correct. The only relationship during which I actually had sex lasted a month and half, from October till mid-November 2012. What’s a month and a half in almost 26 years?! Plus, it was a relationship with a person who simply wasn’t ready for any relationships – an unstable, jealous girl who made my life hell. Some TAC fools have tried to claim that, due to my situation, I simply projected all of my behavior towards her. However, I wonder if any sane person can imagine me breaking off a relationship due to my girlfriend playing SongPop on Facebook with a guy living on another continent? Yes, it was that bad. The distance and the fact that I could only see her on weekends didn’t help either. When we finally broke it off due to her moving even further we were both already exhausted and actually relieved. FACT 23- AFTER FINALLY HAVING A SOME EXPERIENCE WITH SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS IN 2013 I FINALLY DECIDED TO… SUFFER A COMPLETE DISASTER !
In 2013 I decided to throw everything into online dating. One might think that, after no longer being a virgin and finally experiencing a sexual relationship, albeit short, I was expected to have more success than in any years prior. It was not so. The result turned out to be a complete disaster of over 25 rejections in less than an year !! I managed to suffer up to 4 rejections a week, I almost died after a date, I was forced to attempt blackmail (this time for real), dox women who acted like complete pieces of shit, had to see women who did somewhat like me back out due to busy schedules or wanting premarital chastity from both partners and much more. I finally concluded that the reasons why I’m having no success now are due to me being too damaged now. It’s baffling that I could have had success in 2007 and 2009, when I was still crippled with a phobia, but no success now. It’s impossible to comprehend without taking damage my experiences have caused me into account. FACT 24 – BUT, BUT, YOU SLEPT WITH TWO WOMEN IN 2013 !
Again, a fact that, taken out of context, might have meant something. Unfortunately, when considered in its context it just confirms what I’m saying all along. First girl I’ve slept with last year (and whom I actually had a friends with benefits relationship for a short time) was a weird, trashy, fat girl who’s now in psychiatric care. The other one I really did attempt to blackmail – I told her, all without leaving any evidence, that I will call her home in the middle of the night from a throwaway cell phone if she doesn’t sleep with me. She agreed if I buy her some stuff, which we did. We did it once, it was horrible and I never saw her again. And those were the two women I had sex with in 2013. I am not proud for attempting to blackmail this woman but if you read this text carefully you should understand that I was by this point in advanced stages of desperation, willing to do anything, even risk being accused of breaking the law. FACT 25 – BY NOW I AM DESPERATE ENOUGH TO DO PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING TO GET A RELATIONSHIP OR SEX
If I could get away with it I’d rape a woman. If I could pay somebody to be in a relationship I would. I use all kinds of lies and deceptions to try to get women all the time. I am perfectly willing to break any moral and formal law to get any success. FACT 26 – BY NOW I HAVE IMMENSE PROBLEMS THAT VIRTUALLY ALL BUT ENSURE I REMAIN INCEL UNTIL I DIE
I have health problems- depression, CFS, thyroid issues, tinnitus, bad back, excessive body weight and some others.
2. I have no friends who could help me meet women or approach them in appropriate places (or just any places). All of my friends are unable to help.
3. I still don’t approach women nor would I be able to do so successfully.
4. I am getting older – while still young at 25 due to immense stresses and suffering I’ve experienced in life my looks are slowly beginning to wane. Also, I’m beginning to lose many of the previous boyish cockiness I had parts of.
5. My romantic and sexual experiences are very limited. This means I am still unsure of how to act in a real relationship since I never had a real one. I am not a good sexual partner, since my experience with sex is extremely sparse and limited to missionary position.
6. I am exhausted. For the last two years I’ve been having occasional breakdowns in which I can’t leave the bed for weeks at time due to exhaustion on psychological basis. This first happened in April 2012 after I accidentally saw my ex-girlfriend in a public place and ended talking to her for 2 hours, during which she repeatedly told me she won’t have me back. It’s quite impossible to predict when a next attack like this might occur but it seems that their frequency is increasing.
7. All of this, combined with the horrific past experiences, means that I am now a beaten, haggard man with little to live for. FACT 27- IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO CHANGE MY SITUATION NOW
There isn’t much I can do to change this horrific situation I am in.
1. Health – most of my health problems stem from incel in one way or the other. Most of them, like depression, could still be resolved by beating my incel. However, there are some that will follow me until the rest of my life. Almost all of these were caused by incel too. Unfortunately, I don’t see a way to cure any of them aside for maybe losing some weight. Others will remain, along with my incel.
2. Money and moving abroad – these are so intertwined that they have to go into the same category. I’ve never been wealthy and as a history major can never expect any substantial wealth. While moving to the USA for no other reason than to be a part of a community led by a person I greatly admire, a commentator on this blog named Franklin (I despise the country in terms of anything else) might save me this is just an impossible fantasy, as it would be impossible for me to get even a tourist visa.
Unless I win the lottery or something it is unlikely I’ll ever have enough money for it to make any difference in my country as well.
3.Aging – While I’m still young (25) I can feel the first signs of aging. This is probably exacerbated by the fact that I’ve suffered way too many stressful events for somebody my age. I feel much less vital than I was just 3 years ago and my looks are slowly beginning to wane too. Since I can’t offer a woman anything beneficial that comes with age, like increased experience or wealth, and can only display the bad signs of aging, it is unlikely that I will ever attract a woman again. FACT 28- OH, AND I’M INCEL NOW
Oh, and I’m incel now as well. I was noncel and semi-incel for some time in 2012 and 2013 but due to the fact that I last had sex (which meant I was semi-incel at the time) on May 1 last year six months have expired by November 1, 2013. I am currently incel again and will probably remain one until I die this time.
CONCLUSION: The picture these facts pain is a somber one. They present an extremely traumatic and painful past and, as one commentator said, a bleak and life threatening situation. It will also serve as a permanent debunking of those people who had the idea that my life was normal. My situation is pretty much hopeless and my future is actually quite certain – I will almost certainly not die a natural death. I will end it by suicide or worse. Many people have called me dangerous. Their reasons were always incorrect but they sort of had a point. I have less and less to lose every month. The reason why women are not attracted to me are complex and caused by many problems dating from very old times. My situation is disastrous and this is why I am the way I am. It reflects in everything, even the way I lead this blog. Entire weeks used to pass without me even looking it up because I’m too ill and weak – approved commentators might be posting child porn during that time for all I know. I am a sick, broken person. There is a commentator here who is a 50 year-old virgin with many health problems. I dare to say that my situation isn’t much better.
I will also make a poll related to this post.