Darkness

why I will almost certainly remain incel until I die and why my death probably won’t be from natural causes

Another long post about me. Good thing here is that facts are visually ordered so if you find one of them boring you can skip it and read the another one.

WARNING: this post contains dangerous amounts of facts, logic, common sense, cause and effect, realistic assessment and honesty. All of these things are very harmful to TAC fools and everybody else who has some kind of an agenda.

In this post I will try to explain, as briefly as possible, why it is almost certain that I will always remain incel and why things will probably end badly. In order to this I must talk about past and the present. Once that is explained the future will seem quite predictable, at least for reasonable people. I decided upon this post for two reasons. First reason is the constant decline of my health and situation in general. The second reason are occasional questions I get from people upon them hearing that I’ve been in two relationships and had sex with four women – they seem confused and ask me what’s so abnormal about my life or why can’t I just go on with my life despite losing my virginity at a late age. What also inspired me for this post are kind of videos Stefan Molyneux makes every once in a while about a certain subject – fact-packed and straight to the point (I must say I really enjoy watching those lately). Sure, there will be some talk about feelings, as the entire point of discussing incel is to discuss feelings it causes, but all in a context of some very harsh facts. So, what is the goal of this post? The goal is to show that, despite the deceiving numbers of women I was nominally in a relationship or had sex with, my life was completely abnormal. These numbers can create an illusion of a normal life only when cherry picked while the other, much more somber facts, are ignored. In reality, my situation is catastrophic and there can be no talk of living my life normally. Anyway, yeah. 2 relationships, 4 women I had sex with. Since one of them was a girl I was in a relationship with while we had sex that’s 5 women altogether. But we need go further back in order to examine all the pretty nasty facts. We’ll be going chronologically.

                                                                                   FACTS

A fitting background

FACT 1- SINCE EARLY TEENAGE YEARS UNTIL THE AGE OF 23 I WAS CRIPPLED BY AN EXTREME PHOBIA I CALL LOVE-SHYNESS, WHICH RUINED SEVERAL CRUCIAL OPPORTUNITIES FOR NORMAL DEVELOPMENT
It’s hard to believe it now, but, as explained in this article , there was a time when I was the one who rejected potential dates and girlfriends. Imagine me at that time. Forget making out or even holding hands. It was seen as an impractical fantasy. Sex? Sex was seen as something from a different planet, something I will never experience. No, forget all these things. I’m talking about the fact that I was UNABLE TO FIND A COURAGE TO MEET 15 OR 16 YEAR-OLD GIRLS IN FUCKING PUBLIC PARKS DESPITE TALKING TO SOME OF THEM FOR MONTHS. This very first fact should actually be the most frightening one to a intelligent reader. It meant that something was very wrong from the earliest days and that I was off to a bad start. That alone was a huge prerequisite that something might go wrong in the future – and it did.
FACT 2 – DUE TO A VERY SEVERE LOVE-SHYNESS I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO MEET A GIRL I’D TALK TO ONLINE OR ON SMS UNTIL I WAS 18 YEARS-OLD.  The only reason why I finally met one was the fact that I was drunk enough to arrange a meeting with her. Nothing happened on this date as there was no attraction nor was I able to make any initiative but it finally broke the ice. Did this mean the end of love-shyness? Of course not. It was to last for another five years.
FACT 3 – BECAUSE OF THESE PROBLEMS I HAD TO WAIT TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK WITH A GIRL AND STOP BEING AFRAID OF EVEN TALKING TO FEMALE FRIENDS OF MY MALE FRIENDS UNTIL I WAS 18
I had to turn 18 to stop being even nervous around girls my other friends would bring along and having any real discussions with them seemed impossible.
FACT 4- WHILE I DID HAVE MY FIRST KISS AT THE AGE OF 18 IT WAS INITIATED BY THE OTHER PARTY. NOTHING ABOUT IT HELPED TO BREAK MY PHOBIA AND I WAS AS INCAPABLE OF INITIATING A KISS AFTER IT AS I WAS BEFORE 
Not much to explain here. This is a first example of how numbers can deceive. Getting my first kiss only a few months after a first date seems like an ok progress. But my first kiss was awkward, lasted for about 3 seconds and I never had the chance to do it again with the same person – which meant that there could be no relationship and thereby no chance of anything more, even just more kissing. In order to understand more read this

FACT 5- VIRTUALLY ALL OF MY ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL EXPERIENCES, INCLUDING KISSING, WERE ACHIEVED WITH GIRLS I MET ONLINE OR ON SMS FLERT SERVICES

Here’s an interesting fact- if it weren’t for these I’d not only be a virgin at 25, I’d be a kissless virgin at 25. After I finally broke the ice and found the courage to meet girls in real life at the age of 18 this remained my only source to meet girls. I had never even kissed a girl I initially met in real life.Facts 5, 6 and 7 are all about her, The Fatal One. The one whose supposed defense haters are using to basically say that I’m very bad, many years after there was nothing left to defend. Of course, her (extremely long) story is yet to come but this will be a first real introduction into what she brought to my life and what she meant. I know that most people won’t understand no matter how hard I tried but I’ll still do my best.
FACT 6 – THE FATAL ONE PART ONE – WHAT SHE BROUGHT AND WHAT SHE MEANT
It’s hard to describe the impact of The Fatal One using nothing but words. Maybe I should try by saying this – everything she introduced was completely incomparable to anything that happened before and once she was gone (the first part of this story happened in 2007) I would not experience anything new until 2011/2012. However, this, while being true doesn’t do the story any justice. Fatal One was absolutely everything a 19 year-old love-shy could dream of – she was a younger, very attractive girl in love with a guy and ready to take most if not all of the initiative. In fact, she was everything any guy could dream of at any age. First date with her was a stunning success that virtually became a legendary event few weeks after it happened. It was just shockingly successful. After the first hour she told me that she likes me and wants to be in a relationship with me. The date lasted for six full hours. It was the most unique moment in my life. Pure magic. The most important thing about this is that it was very serious from the beginning. She wanted a serious relationship, no ifs and buts. And, no, I am not imagining this . My blog had described and will described a huge number of failures with women and will describe even more – why would I imagine this being an initial success? Everything she brought was unprecedented, including the physical part. Never before her did I experience anything like a kiss that lasted for longer than a few seconds. With her I kissed for hours. Never before her did I experience any petting but I did experience it with her. All this was, like I said, completely unprecedented but the physical part was not this relevant – for mattered was her desire to be with me. Remember that when it comes to facts 7 and 8.
FACT 7 – “THE FATAL ONE” BROUGHT UNPRECEDENTED THINGS – BUT ACTUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HER WERE EXTREMELY LIMITED
Here are some disturbing facts – before she stopped wanting me to be with me we saw each other for only four times. Those four times were in a very short time period of between July 1 and July 12. Altogether, I saw her in real life only six times. We were never at each others homes, were never undressed in front of each other and, of course, we never had sex. But all of that was highly irrelevant to somebody as inexperienced or unable to get another girl as I was – what mattered is that she was the only girl up to then who wanted to be with me.
FACT 8- AFTER “THE FATAL ONE” NO LONGER WANTED ME THE REGRET AND DESPAIR BROUGHT ABOUT HORRIBLE RESULTS
I can’t go into details here but the reason why The Fatal One no longer wanted to be with me was a huge mistake I made, not her decision for which I couldn’t be blamed. This meant two things- 1. that I was going to do everything to bring her back 2. that I was to be completely devastated if I don’t bring her back. This, coupled with the mixed signalss I was initially getting after she no longer wanted to be with me meant that I was in for a disaster. I was initially devastated during the summer, when I spent 50 days for her to get back. When she finally did she told me she no longer likes me, which sent me into a complete breakdown. After that she agreed to meet me four times from September to early November 2007 but canceled every single of these meetings. It meant that I missed a chance with another girl who was very interested in me due to my problems connected to this one (in the end we did meet more than 6 years later and there was no chemistry, which I described here. It was only in early November 2007 that she told me how she’ll never give me a chance. That was the beginning of an even worse era -my sleeping schedule was a disaster, my diet was horrible, I’d go to her neighborhood in attempts to see her. Since I couldn’t find another girl I gradually became more and more obsessed with this missed opportunity as time passed, not less. Entire period of second part of 2007 and entire 2008 was a hellish nightmare in which 95 percent of my thoughts were about her. I heard she found a boyfriend and lost her virginity to him, which devastated me even further. This should be of no surprise, as she was my only memory in terms of dating and relationship, a person who offered me everything I dreamed of once. In the end I could no longer stand the pain and I wrote that I was going to kill her on a foreign forum without mentioning her name. The administrator reported me to the Interpol who reported me to local police and, in a disgusting travesty or justice, they accused me simply for being honest with them and telling them this person even exists. I spent a month in detention and was acquitted later but trauma and hatred of cops remained. If I actually had a weapon I would have surely killed her – I was destroyed to that point. It wasn’t until I met another girl, in 2009, that my obsession lessened by any degree. But by then it was too late, as you will understand later on. Oh, and it meantime between my stay in prison and an end of obsession I tried to kill myself but what is so strange about that after everything I’ve been through?
FACT 9- CONSEQUENCES OF A MISTAKE WITH “THE FATAL ONE” WERE TRULY HORRIFIC
Being in detention was unpleasant and most noncels will see that as a worst thing. It’s not. In fact, it’s pretty much nothing compared to other, much more serious consequences. -Failure with her was probably when my life ended. You see, the main 100 percent certain consequence of this disaster was that it meant that I would not lose my virginity with a woman who had taken all the initiative. This was to have even more terrible implications for the future, my first real girlfriend was to be much prone to initiative – with disastrous consequences. All this delayed the loss of my virginity for around 5 years, by the time it had become too late. -There is one other consequence which might be even worse but in this case I cannot be certain that this would have been the case – what is we would have been together up to now? This would mean that my mistake was a virtual suicide. -This event, happening between high school and college, was the beginning of a different lifestyle in which I discovered things like the term incel, love-shy forum, feminist and MRA movements. It all turned me into a different person, removed from most people in my age and location. If I had been with her I’d probably be ignorant of all that and a normal person today. – The event of my arrest was the beginning of my desire for the government to find me a girlfriend – I realized that if the state could just arrest somebody so easily it could also help people like me. It wasn’t until Franklin really explained why this won’t happen that I abandoned the idea. -My arrest also destroyed any confidence I had in the police. Right now I wouldn’t tell them of any crime I’ve witnessed being committed – and already did so several times. I would simply never co-operate with them unless to my obvious benefit.
FACT 10- TODAY I AM GENUINELY SORRY FOR NOT KILLING THE FATAL ONE
That’s correct. After experiencing even worse disasters than the one with her (which was already huge enough) today I am extremely sorry for not killing her and myself. It would save me and probably the world a lot of pain. In all honesty, if I were to want to harm anybody now the whole scene of killing her would look like a scene from a Dysney movie in comparison. But all this is due to the fact that I’ve not received proper help – and by proper help I don’t mean psychiatry.
FACT 11- AFTER THE FATAL ONE IT TOOK ME ALMOST TWO AND A HALF YEARS TO EVEN KISS ANOTHER GIRL, AND NOT FOR THE LACK OF TRYING
I haven’t kissed a girl between July 6, 2007 and November 21, 2009. That’s 2 years and over 4 months. I wanted to, but couldn’t find one. It wasn’t for a lack of trying – I did go on some dates during that time. It’s not difficult to imagine me spiraling into such obsession when you consider this fact along with the fact of what The Fatal One brought.
FACT 12 – ME EVEN ENTERING A RELATIONSHIP IN 2009 WAS CONNECTED TO EXTREME DIFFICULTIES DUE TO LOVE-SHYNESS, FEAR OF ANOTHER DISASTER AND THE GIRL HERSELF
The girl I met 2009, who later became my first girlfriend, was not like The Fatal One. Despite us immediately finding a connection she didn’t immediately say she likes me. All of this frustrated me so much that after two first dates, all of which were without any kissing or touching at all, I decided to ignore her for 3 months. We didn’t meet at all for over 3 months, after which she finally said she does like me… but now there’s way another problem. I didn’t like her looks. It took me another 3 months to finally get over that, months during which I had some other problems unrelated to that which stopped me from immediately pursuing her. I didn’t settle for her, not at all. I wanted to be with her and was amazed by her intelligence. It’s just that I couldn’t get over her looks. Also, I was very scared of even more pain and had good reason to be – experience with The Fatal One was a good warning sign of how vulnerable my situation was. I finally got over all that and we entered a relationship in November 2009. Due to her failure to be aggressive and looks, as well as my love-shyness, fears and personal problems it took us 7 months to finally enter a relationship, which was my first ever.

FACT 13- MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP WAS BEREFT OF SEVERAL IMPORTANT PARTS – TO A POINT THAT IT PROBABLY WASN’T EVEN A REAL RELATIONSHIP
Let’s get the most important thing out of the way- we never even had sex !! During the 8 months of what was supposed to be a relationship my girlfriend and me never had sex. Even though we would usually see each other at least once a week we never ever had sex. This wasn’t because either of us wanted it to be so – it was due to my love-shyness and her inexperience. None of us was ready to take the initiative and we kept postponing and postponing it. Sadly, we hardly even surpassed everything I’ve done with The Fatal One in only a few dates. We eventually broke every deadline I had set in my had and failed to have sex from November 2009 to July 2010, which is when she left me. Her reason was that she could no longer stand the bad vibe I was spreading – which was understandable, since it was caused by the very fact I could not have sex with my own girlfriend.
FACT 14 – THE SOLE EVENT OF BREAKING UP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND WAS CONNECTED TO A HUGE TRAUMA ITSELF – PROBABLY THE GREATEST ONE IN MY LIFE
When my ex-girlfriend left me she had this idea that we should meet up and have sex the next day. Of course, the idea was highly impractical – for example, it requested that a virgin who never bought condoms now buys them on Sunday when almost all the shops were closed. It also expected two complete shy virgins to just have sex as if the last 8 months weren’t an indicator of it not being all that easy. In any case, it didn’t happen and the entire day ended traumatically. She did arrive by bus near my house and we started walking towards it but I was extremely angry due to events of the previous day and walked much faster than she did. She finally said that she’s not going to put up with such behavior from me and started walking back to the bus station. We took the bus to a station away from my home and talked there. I realized that I just fucked up and ruined my chance to possibly have sex for the first time, possibly even keep here, but she didn’t want to change her mind anymore. It was over. As in the case of The Fatal One, all I was left with was regret and bitterness.
FACT 15 – AFTER MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND LEFT ME I ENTERED A NEW, PREVIOUSLY UNIMAGINABLE PERIOD OF DESPERATION
The calamitous end to my first relationship was a horrible event for me. It meant that my willingness to give another girl a chance after the disastrous Fatal One was a mistake – I ended up getting even more hurt. I stopped caring about pretty much anything, spending weeks without leaving my house or even taking a shower. I’d just sit in front of my computer, smelling like urine and with unkempt hair and beard. The end of a relationship with her was also the true end of any normal life I might have had. It was during that period that I first became desperate enough to ask my mother for sex.
FACT 16- I STOPPED BEING LOVE-SHY IN 2011, AT THE AGE OF 23 – ALMOST 8 YEARS AFTER MY FIRST CHANCES WITH WOMEN
When I finally did stop being love-shy, in 2011, it was an anti-climatic event. Despite my first relationship being a complete disaster I did gather enough experience with kissing to finally manage to kiss a girl first. It was an ugly girl who I didn’t like at all, and hence probably why I found the courage at all. In any case, it was too little, too late.
FACT 17 – NO LONGER BEING LOVE-SHY CHANGED NOTHING
It happened too late and amounted to almost nothing at all. I didn’t start approaching women in nightclubs or anywhere else. I knew I was too clumsy and damaged by that point for something like that to succeed. Neither could I ever count on anything like a wingman. The idea that I should have just started approaching random women once I was rid of love-shyness is only sound in theory. In reality I knew I’d fail and that I never developed any necessary skills for seduction. What me no longer being love-shy amounted to was the ability to express interest or initiate something, all of which would usually end in rejection. It only mattered in the cases where girl would like me too, and those will be sparse.
FACT 18 – IT TOOK ME ALMOST TWO MORE YEARS AFTER MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP AND ONE YEAR AFTER BEATING LOVE-SHYNESS TO FINALLY LOSE MY VIRGINITY
Yes, I had to wait that long after these milestones, all of which caused me immense frustration and pain. Not much to say here. Almost 2 years had to pass since that July 2010 break-up and my loss of virginity in May 2012. Almost two years of reliving that July 2010 day. All in early twenties, a peak of my romantic and sexual urges, which was horrible to my psyche.
FACT 19 – I LOST MY VIRGINITY BUT…
This is one of the facts where true stupidity and vileness of The Atheist Cult come to light. They somehow believe that all of my problems are or should be solved because I am no longer a virgin. Of course, that alone is irrational nonsense but let us imagine some facts around my loss of virginity. – I lost it not long after turning 24, around 7 years later than my nations average. – I had sex with the girl I lost my virginity to twice, each time lasting for about 30 seconds. – The girl I lost it to was never my girlfriend and in fact had a boyfriend all the time. – I was mercilessly dumped after having sex for just two times. – After being dumped I was brutally insulted by the girl in question, being called an extremely lousy lay and suggested to kill myself.
FACT 20 – BUT, BUT, YOU HAD SEX WITH 4 WOMEN !
I did. However, what matters was context. In every of these four cases there was something extremely sad and abnormal.
FACT 21 – I DIDN’T BLACKMAIL THE SECOND GIRL I HAD SEX WITH, BUT..
Feminist freaks often say I blackmailed this woman for sex. This is not true but it is true that she was somewhat coerced, with good reasons. What must be pointed out first is that this woman already did a bad thing to me before but I won’t talk about that here. In any case, during the event I did describe before she offered sex and changed her mind TWICE, all of it fake – she later admitted that her offers and changes of mind were all a part of a deliberate game to fuck me up. So, every time some femifascist loser cries about blackmail and coercion before the final act he/she is as dumb and as uninformed as historian claiming that The Gleiwitz Accident was an actual Polish attack ! In any case, after her second “change of mind”, in a state of complete disarray and anger, I posted her picture on this blog, to which she finally seriously offered sex to take it down. It was the right thing to do and I would do it again. Anybody who doesn’t think it was not the right thing to do has either not read the previous facts or is just a fool. In that moment sex with her was a million dollar prize – sex with anybody was. Imagine how much a relationship was worth then ! It turned out ok and she initially liked it, so we started a relationship, so we come to the next fact…
FACT 22 – MY ONLY “ACTUAL” RELATIONSHIP (CONTAINING SEX) LASTED A MONTH AND A HALF AND WAS A LONG DISTANCE ONE – WITH AN UNSTABLE PARTNER !
That’s correct. The only relationship during which I actually had sex lasted a month and half, from October till mid-November 2012. What’s a month and a half in almost 26 years?! Plus, it was a relationship with a person who simply wasn’t ready for any relationships – an unstable, jealous girl who made my life hell. Some TAC fools have tried to claim that, due to my situation, I simply projected all of my behavior towards her. However, I wonder if any sane person can imagine me breaking off a relationship due to my girlfriend playing SongPop on Facebook with a guy living on another continent? Yes, it was that bad. The distance and the fact that I could only see her on weekends didn’t help either. When we finally broke it off due to her moving even further we were both already exhausted and actually relieved.
FACT 23- AFTER FINALLY HAVING A SOME EXPERIENCE WITH SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS IN 2013 I FINALLY DECIDED TO… SUFFER A COMPLETE DISASTER !
In 2013 I decided to throw everything into online dating. One might think that, after no longer being a virgin and finally experiencing a sexual relationship, albeit short, I was expected to have more success than in any years prior. It was not so. The result turned out to be a complete disaster of over 25 rejections in less than an year !! I managed to suffer up to 4 rejections a week, I almost died after a date, I was forced to attempt blackmail (this time for real), dox women who acted like complete pieces of shit, had to see women who did somewhat like me back out due to busy schedules or wanting premarital chastity from both partners and much more. I finally concluded that the reasons why I’m having no success now are due to me being too damaged now. It’s baffling that I could have had success in 2007 and 2009, when I was still crippled with a phobia, but no success now. It’s impossible to comprehend without taking damage my experiences have caused me into account.
FACT 24 – BUT, BUT, YOU SLEPT WITH TWO WOMEN IN 2013 !
Again, a fact that, taken out of context, might have meant something. Unfortunately, when considered in its context it just confirms what I’m saying all along. First girl I’ve slept with last year (and whom I actually had a friends with benefits relationship for a short time) was a weird, trashy, fat girl who’s now in psychiatric care. The other one I really did attempt to blackmail – I told her, all without leaving any evidence, that I will call her home in the middle of the night from a throwaway cell phone if she doesn’t sleep with me. She agreed if I buy her some stuff, which we did. We did it once, it was horrible and I never saw her again. And those were the two women I had sex with in 2013. I am not proud for attempting to blackmail this woman but if you read this text carefully you should understand that I was by this point in advanced stages of desperation, willing to do anything, even risk being accused of breaking the law.
FACT 25 – BY NOW I AM DESPERATE ENOUGH TO DO PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING TO GET A RELATIONSHIP OR SEX
If I could get away with it I’d rape a woman. If I could pay somebody to be in a relationship I would. I use all kinds of lies and deceptions to try to get women all the time. I am perfectly willing to break any moral and formal law to get any success.
FACT 26 – BY NOW I HAVE IMMENSE PROBLEMS THAT VIRTUALLY ALL BUT ENSURE I REMAIN INCEL UNTIL I DIE
I have health problems- depression, CFS, thyroid issues, tinnitus, bad back, excessive body weight and some others.
2. I have no friends who could help me meet women or approach them in appropriate places (or just any places). All of my friends are unable to help.
3. I still don’t approach women nor would I be able to do so successfully.
4. I am getting older – while still young at 25 due to immense stresses and suffering I’ve experienced in life my looks are slowly beginning to wane. Also, I’m beginning to lose many of the previous boyish cockiness I had parts of.
5. My romantic and sexual experiences are very limited. This means I am still unsure of how to act in a real relationship since I never had a real one. I am not a good sexual partner, since my experience with sex is extremely sparse and limited to missionary position.
6. I am exhausted. For the last two years I’ve been having occasional breakdowns in which I can’t leave the bed for weeks at time due to exhaustion on psychological basis. This first happened in April 2012 after I accidentally saw my ex-girlfriend in a public place and ended talking to her for 2 hours, during which she repeatedly told me she won’t have me back. It’s quite impossible to predict when a next attack like this might occur but it seems that their frequency is increasing.
7. All of this, combined with the horrific past experiences, means that I am now a beaten, haggard man with little to live for.
FACT 27- IT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO CHANGE MY SITUATION NOW
There isn’t much I can do to change this horrific situation I am in.
1. Health – most of my health problems stem from incel in one way or the other. Most of them, like depression, could still be resolved by beating my incel. However, there are some that will follow me until the rest of my life. Almost all of these were caused by incel too. Unfortunately, I don’t see a way to cure any of them aside for maybe losing some weight. Others will remain, along with my incel.
2. Money and moving abroad – these are so intertwined that they have to go into the same category. I’ve never been wealthy and as a history major can never expect any substantial wealth. While moving to the USA for no other reason than to be a part of a community led by a person I greatly admire, a commentator on this blog named Franklin (I despise the country in terms of anything else) might save me this is just an impossible fantasy, as it would be impossible for me to get even a tourist visa.
Unless I win the lottery or something it is unlikely I’ll ever have enough money for it to make any difference in my country as well.
3.Aging – While I’m still young (25) I can feel the first signs of aging. This is probably exacerbated by the fact that I’ve suffered way too many stressful events for somebody my age. I feel much less vital than I was just 3 years ago and my looks are slowly beginning to wane too. Since I can’t offer a woman anything beneficial that comes with age, like increased experience or wealth, and can only display the bad signs of aging, it is unlikely that I will ever attract a woman again.
FACT 28- OH, AND I’M INCEL NOW
Oh, and I’m incel now as well. I was noncel and semi-incel for some time in 2012 and 2013 but due to the fact that I last had sex (which meant I was semi-incel at the time) on May 1 last year six months have expired by November 1, 2013. I am currently incel again and will probably remain one until I die this time.
CONCLUSION: The picture these facts pain is a somber one.  They present an extremely traumatic and painful past and, as one commentator said, a bleak and life threatening situation. It will also serve as a permanent debunking of those people who had the idea that my life was normal. My situation is pretty much hopeless and my future is actually quite certain – I will almost certainly not die a natural death. I will end it by suicide or worse. Many people have called me dangerous. Their reasons were always incorrect but they sort of had a point. I have less and less to lose every month. The reason why women are not attracted to me are complex and caused by many problems dating from very old times. My situation is disastrous and this is why I am the way I am. It reflects in everything, even the way I lead this blog. Entire weeks used to pass without me even looking it up because I’m too ill and weak – approved commentators might be posting child porn during that time for all I know. I am a sick, broken person. There is a commentator here who is a 50 year-old virgin with many health problems. I dare to say that my situation isn’t much better.

I will also make a poll related to this post.

74 thoughts on “Darkness

    • No crime and I don’t hate her. I never hated her. It’s much, much more complex. People can want to do these things out of passion and sadness, not just hate. After what happened with her my life turned into a complete nightmare, as you can see in this article. I now prefer I could have avoided that. Also, I’m not talking about wanting to kill her now, I’m just sad I didn’t before. Your question should have been in past tense.

      • Why do you regret not killing someone whom you admit that you do not hate, and did not hate? What would it have solved to deprive her of life and all the happiness that it might have brought her? I’m having trouble understanding why you’re sorry that you didn’t kill her. I do *not* advocate suicide (unless faced with a slow, agonizing death due to cancer or suchlike), but wouldn’t it have served the same purpose to simply kill yourself and not her? Why do you wish that you had taken her life? I do not get this.

        • I will try to explain.

          People don’t kill each other just out of hate. Ever heard the term “a crime of passion”? Do such crimes involve nothing but hate? As you could see in that text she was my lottery winning ticket, my only chance to lead a normal life. Losing her was literally like flushing a ticket that would have won me a billion dollars. And I didn’t use the comparison to flushing by accident – I didn’t lose her because she just stopped liking me, I lost her because of horrible mistakes I did.
          To me she was and is a symbol of my failed life, an idol. To kill her in 2008 would have been to finally take down the idol in my head – to me she was a goddess. I couldn’t have taken down that idol by just killing myself.

          I am sorry for not killing her now because everything that happened after her was, as you could see, complete shit. The fact that I lost my virginity many years later or was in some horrible relationships that lacked even basic elements to be called so isn’t an argument against that but for that.

          I am now in a horrible position with no way out.

      • I respect everything you have posted in this blog thus far. This article spoke to me, as a “loser.” I had so many dreams at 5 years old, and most of them died. The one that hurt the most when it died was the biggest crush I ever had, and once it dried up I was left with nothing but countless lusts that continuously led to nothing but more empty self-resentment. Now as a man with E.D, which I have developed over the past three years, it’s finally clear to me that my nightmare will never end.
        At least your parts still work friend, and as long as that’s the case there’s hope for you. I’m thinking about making a blog of my own about the things that contributed to who I am as a worthless life, and when you read it I hope you find some kind of comfort in it.

  1. Alright, so what’s up? No comments on this?

    Many commentators liked to pontificate about me so much without having enough information, why are there no comments now? I open my heart and soul and all I get is silence?

    • thatincelblogger,

      I hear you about a lifetime of social problems, especially with women. I empathize.

      And I agree with you; in some respects, having had some experiences can be in some ways more painful than never having had any experiences, since we feel the pain of losing such connections.

      I could go on and on about my own experiences or lack thereof, but I choose not to, at least for now.

      Will your situation improve? Absolutely! 46-year olds like myself always look on the time when they were only 25 with a new perspective. (Mikey is a highly unusual exception).

      Will all the pain go away? No! But it will lessen with a different perspective. The Darkness is here, but there is a candle, sometimes two, to illuminate things.

      My strategy is having friends and acquaintances who have nothing to do with women. If they’re gay, they’re gay, what can you do? They don’t rape or bite. I enjoy MGTOW videos on Youtube too. I’m on the red pill, but this doesn’t negate my feelings or me as a person. I can switch to the blue pill whenever and if ever I feel like; I’m the boss of my own path in that respect.

      Spirituality is certainly a big part of my life; I wish we agreed in that area. Catch you later.

  2. Everything you said in this blog is completely correct and rings so true with my experience. If you get past age 18 and still a virgin, you are basically fucked. I am 40 and in the same situation you are in, and I dont have health problems, I have lots of money, and women
    dont even talk to me.. They never have, despite 6 years of PUA and approaching over 15000 women, without so much as a relationship. I am an untouchable as far as women are concerned. My sex life is, and will forever be restricted to hiring hookers and sex tourism. Most of the time sex with hookers sucks compared to a girl who actually likes you, although rarely, you get one who is really into it. Because I am so sexually inexperienced (have had sex only 10 or so times in my life, without paying, and never more than once with the same woman), I cannot get a girl to like me for more than one night and that happens only every few years or so. I have had to approach over 15,000 women, during 6 years, to get 10 women to sleep with me, once… If these numbers do not show the incel is SOL, I do not know what will.

    • rantsofanincel,

      ” If you get past age 18 and still a virgin, you are basically fucked.”

      Sorry but that just doesn’t ring true at all. Your experience is one experience, not universal. Want to know mine? I didn’t even kiss a girl in high school let alone have a girlfriend, I was a virgin til I was 20 years old, had sex ONCE and then didn’t so much as KISS another girl til I was nearly 25 yrs. I was incredibly frustrated with relationship dynamics and gender roles, disillusioned with the childish ways that others in my age group seemed to treat each other and the expectations they placed on their relationships. I actively avoided romance and rejected a significant number of advances from women despite desperately wanting a girlfriend because I was too shy, too stressed about what they wanted from me, too afraid of hurting someone else. But don’t think for a moment I was/am some kind of asexual either. I was horny from the age of 6 when I had my first sex dreams and it was a nearly 24/7 obsession since then. I fantasized about sex constantly and desperately wanted to fuck a girl, any girl. I had daydreams where girls would fuck me just for the sake of sex and nothing else. I used to even wish I had been gay because I heard about how gay men would just fuck each other randomly and without pretense in sex clubs and public toilets. I wanted that with women. I was in constant internal conflict with a base sexual nature that wanted to do nothing but fuck and an emotional side that wanted a partner and soulmate, but I never avoided women as friends and never reduced all the women around me to fuck holes. I kept moving forward, kept trying to find ways to make sure my pain wouldn’t become anyone else’s. I knew that the only reason I was ever in that situation was because of the decisions I made myself. It was all in my head and I was determined to never let anyone else be hurt because I had issues.
      I have also obsessed about women. The first love I ever felt was with a girl for nearly 4 years of unrequited affection. I watched her stumble from idiot boyfriend to idiot boyfriend while I was friendzoned until I had to walk away from the friendship. In my mind she was perfect, the only girl I would ever want, my only chance at happiness. I found out years later that she was in love with me then but was scared that I was ‘too good’ for her so kept me at a distance! That stuff takes years to get over BUT…. if you don’t turn yourself into a murder-fantasizing ball of self hatred then those scars actually fade in time and life does get better slowly but surely. And it did get better.
      I’ve been dumped and heart broken since then too. For 12 months after the breakdown of a 5.5 year relationship I cried myself to sleep every night and woke every morning and cried again at my situation, every single day. A shitstorm of self loathing that looked like it would never clear. It did, slowly.
      I’m now 40 and have been with a number of partners whom I have loved, admired and found moments of happiness with despite spending periods of up to 3.5 years in celibacy in between. I still have a healthy fear/respect for love, it is a powerful thing that can leave very deep painful scars.

      “Because I am so sexually inexperienced …… I cannot get a girl to like me for more than one night ”

      If you think you have no future with women because you’re a dud lay with no sexual experience then why not spend some money asking a hooker to teach you how to please a girl? Why not spend some of your fortune on tantric work? Sounds like a worthwhile investment and you get your socks boned while you’re at it. Why the obsession with PUA which is basically a way to try to trick women onto sleeping with you? Honestly mate, take all that PUA bullshit and throw it the fuck out the window. It’s a recipe for one night stands built on a foundation of lies, not the beginning of a relationship. I hate to make an assumption so I apologise if this seems off the mark but a fella who has studied PUA for 6 years and can’t make a relationship stick seems to be barking up the wrong tree. I’m going to venture a guess that you don’t have many platonic female friends right? Get some, if you can’t be friends with a woman how the hell are you gonna be a partner to one? My best relationships have all been friends first and foremost and sexual partners second. If you do have good female friends then pluck up the courage and have a chat to them about your life. Communication is THE problem of all problems. If you can be comfortable and honest talking to your female friends about your past then you’ll be better at being relaxed and honest with potential partners. I know for a fact that not every lady needs their guy to be a super stud, if you can be a good friend and partner first then you’re more than halfway there believe me. What is the difference between you and other guys? It’s not the looks, I know plenty of ordinary looking guys with girlfriends. It’s not lack of money as you have already stated. It’s how you think, plain and simple.

      As for thatincelblogger,

      “As you could see in that text she was my lottery winning ticket, my only chance to lead a normal life. Losing her was literally like flushing a ticket that would have won me a billion dollars.”

      Yeah nah bro. This sounds like your issue right here. You know that song by Eminem with the whole ‘You only get once shot do not miss your chance blah blah blah’? Yea well that’s absolute bullshit. There seems to be a culture of belief amongst young men that their entire lives depend on these crucial early events in life and that if they don’t work out then life is ruined. NO! NO NO NO NO NO A million bloody times NO! You’re creating this belief that she was going to fix you, fill the void, make you a real man or whatever and that’s just not how it works in real life mate. You are not your girlfriend, not your wife, not your children or your list of previous sexual partners. You are the things you make, not the things someone else gives you. Believe me bro, by the time I was your age I’d had sex literally twice with 2 women! I’ve spent years since then in celibacy in between relationships. Life isn’t about sex man, that’s just the fucken monkey on your back, the critter in your balls jamming at your brain telling you to spread your seed. Fuck that shit bro, the world is full of fucking amazing stuff and if you’re feeling like punching your ticket then at least go check out some cool stuff first, you’ll never get a second chance at life but it is very very long, longer than you think, long enough to heal from just about anything and then go out a do awesome things.

      Seriously mate, I’ve been there I know. Two years ago I was sitting next to the body of my closest friend in life, a man who I’d considered a brother for over 32 years. Three years before that I was feeling like I wanted to do the same thing he did. But I didn’t. I didn’t because I knew that if I waited long enough, if I just kept trying to do good work, to be kind to others, to become better at things I enjoyed and ignore the bullshit pressure that social traditions place on people to conform then it would get easier. I know because I’ve been there before. If the world around you is shit then MAKE YOURSELF BETTER. I can tell you from experience I found strength in celibacy. After it felt like a prison it eventually became armour, it gave me freedom and fearlessness to do things without caring. I don’t want this to sound like some kind of Hallmark card throwaway self improvement tip but I’ve only seen what happened in my life and I can tell you this:
      – If you’re hating yourself you need to do more to help other people. Nothing works better for self loathing than making other peoples live better in the simplest of ways. Even in your worst moments you should be smiling at strangers, showing patience with those serving you, being generous when you don’t have to be and taking care and interest in other peoples lives.
      – The people who are happiest in relationships are the ones who don’t need them. Make it your goal to not need sex, not need a partner, deal with that monkey on your back and make it a conscious effort. When you’re happy on your own is when it’s easiest to approach and be with others because you have nothing to lose! Ignore the end goal of partnership, the ultimate goal is acceptance of yourself. Not a bullshit, self deluded, “I am the greatest” kind of acceptance either. A genuine understanding of who you are and how you can be better.

      I hope none of this was dismissive of how you’re both feeling, it wasn’t meant to be.

      • Hi marburg, I appreciate the post and don’t find it dismissive at all but please understand that incel is about more than sex.

        I’d like to comment on the portion of your text that denies that The Fatal One was this great chance I see her to be – sorry, but that’s just blatantly false. I’ve given very good explanation to why she indeed was that and what happened afterwards confirmed it.

        • Hey thatincelblogger,

          I didn’t meant to suggest it’s all about sex, sorry if you got that impression. Trust me, I was always a hopeless romantic as well, hence my focus on friendships with women in my post. I mean shit, if it was all about sex you should just do what a friend of mine does who had a violent breakdown of his marriage (she attacked him and went to jail). He just pays for it when he can afford it/wants it and doesn’t blink an eye, he’s pretty happy actually considering he’s cut off any part of himself that would be in love again. Also I have no anger or criticism of a sex industry in which people are free to agree as adults to safely do whatever the hell they want for money, man/women, gay or straight. To be honest I couldn’t even get up the nerve to go see a hooker even though I desperately wanted to as I had internalised a bit too much of the shame that society has attached to sex work when I was young.
          But clearly it’s more than that for you and it was more than that for me too. What I really wanted was a best friend who I could share intimacy with more than anything. That intimacy scared the absolute fucking shit out of me for years. It still does a bit but I’m better at dealing with it now.
          And that is why I still think you’re wrong bro. I hate to be the dickhead sounding like he knows you better than you do so sorry if it sounds like I’m telling you that but hear me out for a second. I did read your explanation about The Fatal One and I saw a man who has made the decisions to see the situation within a particular framework. There is nothing in your story to suggest an outside agent acting to designate her as your only chance. No great wheel turning or finger of god beyond your control. There was only how you experienced those events, these are your ‘views’ only. Views change! I won’t make you a hollow promise but I doubt there is a snowflakes chance in hell that you will still see her as your only chance in 20 years time. Time is a double edged sword, it slowly but ruthlessly chips away at our past and changes how we see things. You will absolutely not be the same person when you hit 40, trust me. The only problem is that time takes so damn long to do it’s thing. If you can develop one skill in life right now, one talent to make things less horribly sharp and painful to experience it would be ‘patience’. There’s still a lot more to happen afterwards that might change the way the final story goes you get me?
          And finally, (just when you think I’d had enough of spouting old timey advice!) I’ll give you some more. Don’t neglect your body, ever! Keep that thing fit and healthy no matter what and don’t eat shit. Martial arts saved my god damn life, it taught me mental focus and there is a direct link between mental health and physical health that can be exploited to deal with frustrations and pent up energy. Don’t do it for the ladies, do it for you. CFS is a shit I know, if you can’t train hard then do yoga or Taichi but never ever ignore it. You need to connect with your body, it has direct impact on your mental health, that shit is scientific and undeniable. Getting old doesn’t mean shit if you can stay healthy bro, plenty of ladies don’t go for the boyish looks 😉
          Sorry if I’m all ‘trying to solve your problems for you’ and shit but I see bits of you in my past and I want you and others like us to see things aren’t a lost cause.

  3. That commentator failed to even try to explain his or her accusations for more than 24 hours so I had to ban him and delete his posts, like I promised to do. I am also deleting my posts to that person. If you want to accuse me of criminal activity you better at least try to back it up.

  4. “Dude, this isn’t healthy and it’s not the incel that’s causing it. ”

    Then what is it?

    I mean, you’re absolutely hilarious and sick to say that so I wanna know what how far does your lunacy go.

    “I honestly think there are underlying problems that you’re refusing to address.”

    What underlying problems and how am I refusing to address them?

    “I was obsessed with a girl for years and I was right up until the moment I realised that my problems run deeper than her not /liking/ me. ”

    If you’re comparing that to The Fatal One you’re insane, I wasn’t obsessed with The Fatal One because I just seemed to like her and she didn’t like me. Have you read the text?

    Also, never do I say that my only problem was somebody not liking me.

    “I can’t tell you what your problems are, but I think you should reflect for a while.”

    Well, it’s pretty decent from you that you can’t tell me what my problems are instead of pontificating some nonsense but

    “I won’t bullshit you and say it’s easy to identify your problems, but it’s vital vital.”

    … I think this text identifies them and their chronology quite well.

    • “I will say it again; your problem is not incel, you’ve probably just latched on to it because it’s easy and it gives you an excuse.”

      Look, I hate talking to idiots because they, unintentionally, treat me like one. You’re the one that hasn’t read my post. I asked you – if you think incel isn’t the problem what do you think that the problem is? And why do you think that the deprivation of such crucial things isn’t a problem? That’s monstrous.

      • I’m asking you why you think incel isn’t the issue here. Because that’s a pretty insane statement to make. You can’t come here and wave it off just like that while saying you “oh, I don’t know what the problem is but incel isn’t ktchbai”. To say that incel isn’t the issue here is one the craziest things I have heard in my life. You have 24 hours to explain this or you’re gone since you’re breaking the rules, which you haven’t read obviously.

        • “Maybe your life would be perfect if you’d kissed a girl earlier, but chances are you would redirect your misery onto something else.”

          This is not the level of debate I want here. This is ridiculous nonsense. That post was never about that at all. I actually kissed a girl at an reasonable age. This was never about something as trivial as a kiss. Sorry, you just can’t spout this nonsense here. I won’t put you on moderation yet but I’m deleting the rest of this post and telling you to cut the crap. This is against the rules – negating incel as a problem is such way is not allowed here.

  5. I voted “Yes” because psychological trauma can always be overcome by force of will. This is in contrast to things like illness and old age which cannot be overcome by force of will.

    You have no immediate solution to your problem. But hopelessness isn’t caused by lack of immediate solutions, but rather by an inability to see a path to an eventual solution. I think such a path can be found. I had suggested making a “solutions” blog post, but maybe that was a bad idea since a public post invites Modernist/TAC insults. So instead, I suggest you join CoAlpha and discuss solutions in the private forum.

    • Hi Franklin,

      I voted yes too.

      I like your wording: a path to an eventual solution can be found. I’d add WILL BE found, with consistent effort and years of time passing. Again, I offer MGTOW,spirituality, like-minded friends, and disassociating from antagonistic people. I wonder if my suggestions will be ignored again.

      Per a pathway to the solution of finding a woman which you suggested to me:

      A condition such as autism, coupled with unusual personality attributes, stops all women from considering or respecting you. And if you live with your parents, collecting a disability check too, that completely stops that.

      So your advice for someone in my situation should always be MGTOW. If not, why not?

      Also, I believe there was talk on here about the fear of never being able to lead a normal life. Who said normal is good?

      I’m here to help single men feel better about being single. Chapter 29.Staying Single: Treasure or Trash on http://www.wowedbytruth.com should definitely help. I look forward to input as to improve the chapter even further.

      • “So your advice for someone in my situation should always be MGTOW. If not, why not?”

        For one reason only – the type of MGTOW in my case would mean that I never have relationships. I don’t want to live like that. I can’t live like that at all.

        MGTOW is ok if it means an attitude towards women. But to completely give up on women is sick in my mind. We are designed to have partners. Separatism of the sexes isn’t normal.

        • Thanks for responding.

          But for someone in your situation WHO IS ONLY 25;

          NO, I would never expect a 25-year old to completely give up on women.

          I gave up on women from around age 23-31. I gave in to society’s bullying; got married at 35; with her for 6 weeks. Now my family and I are $ 15,000 poorer. Still, I’m glad for the experience.

          I would never say to never have relationships; I even have a relationship with you as long as I’m on this blog.

          Yes, you better believe it; we are designed (by God) to have partners. And correct; separatism of the sexes isn’t normal, it’s extremely abnormal.

          ANALOGY HERE: It’s normal to have two legs. We would never in a trillion years want our leg amputated for no reason. However, if one’s leg has gangrene, which would infect and destroy one’s whole body, it must be removed.

          Now if women are infected with the gangrene of radical feminism and social ostracism, they must be expelled!!! If it’s like inviting a zombie over for dinner; guess who’s the dinner?

          • “Now if women are infected with the gangrene of radical feminism and social ostracism, they must be expelled!!! ”

            No, that’s not how I see it. The solution should then be to look for women who aren’t like that or, if all women are like that, look in some other location.

            The solution should never be to just give up on all women. I’m sorry, but whoever does that is abnormal in a way that I can’t be. I could understand it after 40 or 50 and a messy divorce but not before.
            Sorry, I know I’m basically calling you sick here but I’d never go for that solution. Even suicide is preferable.
            I mean, I would go if I were old, but there’s no way I’ll survive until then because I can’t stand the suffering right now.

            • This is an interesting cultural clash we’re having here.

              Okay, let’s consider what you’re saying, looking for women who aren’t like that. Now how do we know which women (if any) aren’t like that? Are we mind readers; do we have ESP? NO, so we’re limited to digging in a garbage scow, hoping to find gemstones.

              Okay, we look in some other location; which location is that?

              Okay, sick/abnormal VS. well/normal. Let’s consider your belief in Evolution. What is the ultimate precept in Evolution? SELF-PRESERVATION. What does that entail? Living as long as you can, regardless what!!! Suicide is this antithesis to Evolution! So that’s the worst abnormality according to Evolution.

              Singles were honored; virgin men were honored; they were wonderful, no, they ARE wonderful, they are great. Isaac Newton, praise God. Hans Christian Anderson, I’m reading him now, wonderful.

              Yes, the pain is real, the pain is great. You want to know my worst pain? Lack of supporters to my ideology. Bar none.

              • “Okay, let’s consider what you’re saying, looking for women who aren’t like that. Now how do we know which women (if any) aren’t like that? Are we mind readers; do we have ESP? NO, so we’re limited to digging in a garbage scow, hoping to find gemstones.

                Okay, we look in some other location; which location is that?”

                Ask our mutual friend. He has some strong opinions on this.

                “Okay, sick/abnormal VS. well/normal. Let’s consider your belief in Evolution. What is the ultimate precept in Evolution? SELF-PRESERVATION. What does that entail? Living as long as you can, regardless what!!! Suicide is this antithesis to Evolution! So that’s the worst abnormality according to Evolution.”

                KC, you’re making bizzare comparisons. A strong precept of evolution is also reproduction. Also, it is atheists who usually believe in evolution and seem to be more prone to suicide.

                “Singles were honored; virgin men were honored; they were wonderful, no, they ARE wonderful, they are great. Isaac Newton, praise God. Hans Christian Anderson, I’m reading him now, wonderful.”

                But I don’t think these men were geniuses because they were single. Many brilliant people weren’t single. I just don’t like to fetishize that kind of stuff.

                “Yes, the pain is real, the pain is great. You want to know my worst pain? Lack of supporters to my ideology. Bar none.”

                Well, you’re always gonna be welcome to fish for followers here but I am pretty sure I won’t join you. I am a staunch anti-theist and MGTOW just doesn’t appeal to me.

                • thatincelblogger,

                  You’re referring to Franklin, are you not? Yes, he has numerous good ideas, but his situation is much different. He has a good job (I’m assuming) and doesn’t have any mental handicap like I have which causes perpetual rejection (I’m assuming).

                  Even in the case of finding a wonderful woman, I have a serious problem if she made more money than me; I have a problem with her trying to wear the pants in the relationship. On the other hand, MGTOW makes me feel dignified.

                  Here’s my criteria for MGTOW being a must: If a man is past 40, and he has never been in a steady relationship for a period of more than 3 months. This describes me; my arranged marriage lasted 6 weeks.

                  I don’t push this on younger men, but I do ask them to consider it.

                  Bizarre? Subjective. Yes, a strong precept of Evolution is reproduction, but it’s impossible to reproduce if you’re dead. Yes, atheists are more prone to suicide, but not because of their belief in Evolution. Believers are less prone to suicide because many believe (as I do) that if you cannot create life (as God can) you have no right to take it.

                  I don’t think that the men I mentioned were geniuses because they were single either. But being single, they had more free time on their hands to express their inherent genius.

                  Famous atheist Antony Flew was a staunch anti-theist for 60 years. He went on to write the book There Is a God; How the World’s Most Famous Atheist Changed His mind.

                  Hey, MGTOW doesn’t appeal to me either; big boobs appeal to me! But we may have to avoid the natural for what’s unnatural. Mice are too stupid not to approach the cheese on the mousetrap. But in many men’s situations, being involved with women is like springing a giant steel bar which breaks our neck; hence the MGTOW movement.

    • “I voted “Yes” because psychological trauma can always be overcome by force of will. This is in contrast to things like illness and old age which cannot be overcome by force of will.”

      One of the rare issues we disagree on then. I don’t want to discuss the fine limit between trauma and mental illness but I had a conversation about PTSD with a lady on Reddit and told her I know some people whose fathers suffer from PTSD and they have psychological traumas no force of will could ever change.
      Of course, it’s different in my case as my situation continues to wear me out every day.

      “You have no immediate solution to your problem. But hopelessness isn’t caused by lack of immediate solutions, but rather by an inability to see a path to an eventual solution. I think such a path can be found. I had suggested making a “solutions” blog post, but maybe that was a bad idea since a public post invites Modernist/TAC insults. So instead, I suggest you join CoAlpha and discuss solutions in the private forum.”

      Franklin, I didn’t make that blog post (page) not because I feared modernist/TAC insults. There’s a banhammer for those. I didn’t do it because I know that no solution exists. I will register on Co-Alpha later next week but more because I’m interested in a private forum then in advice I could get there, honestly.

      • Some idiot compared the Bataan Death March to incel, but we know incel is worse because it is open ended. A fair analogy to incel is the Holocaust. The analogy is Nazism is to the Holocaust is to Jews as TAC is to feminism is to incels. The Holocaust was open ended trauma for those who went through it. Yet many Holocaust survivors went on to become very successful. These survivors see their success as revenge against Nazism, particularly their children who live today in spite of the Holocaust. I view my life similarly, as revenge against TAC, particularly my children who live today in spite of feminism.

        Why weren’t these Holocaust survivors ruined by PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress Disorder)? Because they don’t have the victim mentality that modern culture teaches. Modern culture supports your view about PTSD because modern culture wants you to give up. I am TAC’s worst nightmare because no matter what happens in my life, I will never stop fighting them. I will never give up. So yes, I agree with you that there are people who suffer from PTSD who will never get over it. But that is because their will is weaker than their trauma. Modern society is designed to produce people with weak wills. It is does everything it can to break people’s will. Modern society fears people who have the will to resist. It much prefers that those who don’t fit in consider themselves victims and seek sympathy rather than that they consider themselves enemies of modern culture and seek success and revenge.

  6. Hi, I’ve been a lurker for a while now. I’m trying to honestly understand incel better so I was hoping you could help me out a little. Apart from the intimacy (sex, kissing, cuddling etc) that comes with having a girlfriend, how is your day-to-day life affected by incel? (eg, sexual frustration becomes so great that you cannot concentrate on work?) Oh and what do you think women should do? I think in one of your previous posts, you mentioned that they need give guys a chance before prejudging them on looks. But what if a girl truly spends time chatting with an incel guy, but honestly feels no attraction to him so turns the guy down when he asks her out? Thank you for your help!

  7. Greetings, everyone.

    I’ve just finished reading this blog’s posts, and have some questions for the incel guys here, as well as for the author in particular. I only wish to understand certain parts of incel better, and do not want to unintentionally insult or hurt anyone. To follow through with this, I first wish to know if there are any words/phrases that are commonly used that I should avoid. Of course, I’m perfectly fine with being asked questions about myself too
    Fair is fair, after all.

    In the interests of disclosure, I’ll start by letting you know that I am a 29 year old, physically female but mentally masculine American. I have only ever had 1 sexual partner, my current male FwB who I shared my virginity with when I was 22. I’m Wiccan, ovo-lacto vegetarian, work in a gaming/comic store, and live happily by myself. I also vote in both local and national elections, and have never had a desire for marriage or children.

    Hopefully this is enough information about me for now. I hope to hear back from other commenters soon so that I may ask questions without harming anyone.

    • Hi. I suggest you check my comments policy.

      What I don’t appreciate is saying that incel is just about sex, comparisons of incel deprivation to a much less serious deprivation, constant insistence that therapy is a solution without good argumentation, talks about “entitlement” and other liberal nonsense, insults, comparisons to serial killers or internet celebrities etc.

      But if you make a mistake I’m willing to forgive it since you are polite enough to even ask for instructions.

      • Thanks, will do.
        I’m currently at work, but will take the time to read your comments policy and ask my questions when I get off in 8 hours. I appreciate that you got back to me so quickly. Hope your day goes well.

        -Tarnished

      • Okay, I’ve read your comments policy and will do my best to abide by said rules. I apologize in advance if I make any mistakes, they are not intentional. Also, while I’ve read every post I’ve not yet read all comments…indeed, some are impossible to read due to being “nested” and reduced to a single long line of letters. So, on with the questions then:

        1. I’ve noticed that on many blogs/forums dealing with this topic, posters have stated that they are incels at very young ages, sometimes as young as 14. While this may adhere to the involuntarily *celibate* (aka no intercourse) segment of incel, it just strikes me as odd that some people seem to fully expect to have sex by such a young age. I’m not saying they aren’t incel…but not being a virgin at age 15 appears to be a lofty “goal”. Why is there this undercurrent in the incel/loveshy community that focuses on sharing ones virginity before age 18?

        2. What, if any, steps are currently being undertaken by the incel/loveshy community to ensure that the general media and/or psychological community accept these as real, treatable issues?

        3. How has incel (either the lack of sex part or lack of intimacy part) affected your/others lives? Obviously there is depression, and a lack of motivation, but are there other problems that could be dealt with on an individual basis?

        4. To ThatIncel: I’m unsure of exactly which country you are from, but why do you not talk about events or organizations that can aid in reducing the impact of incel? Again, I’m an American, and can only speak of what I know in my own country, but we have things like cuddle parties, prostitution in parts of Nevada, support groups for severe social anxiety, groups that are working to legitimize sex work and make it safe, gaming groups specifically for kids/teens with autism or extreme shyness, massage therapists, and even a new organization (in NYC, I believe) where one of two women who own it will “snuggle” with their clients for up to 2 hours. Why do you not mention any of these types of organizations for your own readers?

        4. To ThatIncel: I don’t really know if you need therapy for it (or even if there *is* a therapy for such a mindset), but you seem to pedestalize women in some of your writings. This is especially evident where you talk about the Fatal One…you say that she is/was a goddess and you admit that you turned her into an idol in your mind. Leaving aside the fact that this feeling is so strong you would have committed the grave crime of murder (I’m accepting of suicide if that’s truly the person’s choice, but cannot condone taking someone else’s life as it’s not something you have a right to), why do you think you feel this way?

        5. To ThatIncel: What was your mother’s reaction to asking to have sex with her? Was she appalled? Mocking? Did she laugh it off, or take it seriously? If you’ve touched on this before, I’m sorry for missing it.

        6. There seems to be a correlation between children who begin masturbating and/or noticing the opposite sex at an early age with some level of loveshyness during their teens. Do you have any thoughts on this matter? I myself began masturbating at age 5 or 6, and have always had a great deal of trouble understanding girls and later women. However, since I’m physically female this was never seen as a dire issue and my “tomboyism” (actually gender dysphoria) was somewhat accepted while I was growing up. I don’t think I’d be incel if I was a cis male since I’m bisexual, but I do wonder if I’d have been loveshy with women.

        7. To ThatIncel: Why did you give up your government girlfriends program? You touch on it a little bit, but I’d like to know more.

        8. I saw from a comment mentioning it that certain commenters here are against female suffrage. Why is that? I’m obviously for it since I’m physically a woman and take great pride in having a voice in my local, state, and federal government, but I’m also of the opinion that you should have to pass a bi-yearly exam about current politics and election policies before being allowed to vote. Too many Americans just vote according to feelings and party loyalty, and don’t take the time to actually find out what the platforms are.

        9. I also noticed that certain people here are against female premarital sex but for male premarital sex. Again, I’m obviously not for it because I’m physically a woman but do not desire marriage and am very happy with what I have with my Friend with Benefits. But I’m curious as to how this would even work? If all women had to remain virgins til marriage and then presumably only have sex with their husbands…who would be left to have premarital sex with the men? Or would women be able to have sex with whomever they wanted once they were married?

        10. Are there any incels who have used extreme measures (such as either chemical or surgical castration) to combat their desire for sex? I’d imagine not, since they’d still want other intimacy, but I’m just curious.

        11. Before I met my FwB and he retaught me how to be okay with some touch, I had very severe touch phobia of humans. Obviously I still had a need for it though, so I cuddled a lot with my pets. As I’m still not comfortable with much more than a handshake from people I don’t know well, I rely on my pets even today. Is this something that incels/loveshy people do too? I’ve yet to find any meaningful information about substituting animal touch for human touch, but perhaps I’m not looking in the right places, or it’s not talked about?

        12. For men such as Mikey, what do relatives say or do about your prolonged virginity? I personally don’t care if someone is a virgin, unless it is causing them mental or emotional pain. Has there been any attempts from family to assist in this problem? I can’t imagine that they are incapable of seeing a loved ones pain, but I do know that a number of people seem to lack any empathy for others.

        I believe that’s it for now, though I’m sure there are things I’m forgetting that I’d wanted to ask. Hopefully I didn’t break any rules, and I’ll hear back from at least a few people. If anyone wants to talk more or in private, I do have a contact option on my blog.

        Thanks for your time,
        -Tarnished

        • Tarnished,

          Thank you very much for completely ignoring me.

          However, your questions and comments are excellent; you have good points.

          Here are some basics: Thatincelblogger and other incels believe that feminism has a large part in facilitating incel. I agree.

          Government girlfriends programs have no chance of working.

          Families usually don’t care about other family member’s emotional pain; mine don’t.

          These questions have already been answered.

          Although you have good poignant questions, I have a problem with your asking thatincelblogger about his relationship with his mother; too personal!!!

          I know I’m only 46 years old, but is it possible that someone as young as me could have accumulated some special wisdom and experience that could help others who have never thought about certain things before?

          Your answer is______________________________________________________________________?

          • Hello KC.

            I’m unsure of why you think I “completely ignored” you? Each time I’ve signed off I’ve made it fairly clear that I’m open to communication from other commenters as well as ThatIncel.

            I don’t think the GGG program would have worked either, but was hoping to hear more about it from ThatIncel himself.

            I think that modern feminism has played a part in facilitating incel too.

            It depends on the family, or the family member. I’m very much aware of the issues my siblings go through and try to support them whenever I can. I do not receive the same, probably because I am the oldest sibling by a number of years and they have no protective feelings toward me. On the other hand, my mother is protective of all of us in her own way. A majority of my friends have supportive, caring families too.

            As for asking ThatIncel about his mother’s reaction, it may be too personal but it’s no more so than some questions I’ve received on my own blog. And like me, he is under no obligation to answer if he feels uncomfortable doing so. But I know what my reaction would be if a child of mine asked for such a thing (namely, it would set off many mental alarms and would immediately make me seek out professional help for him/her), and was wondering if ThatIncel’s parents have a lack of parental empathy, which would explain at least a few things.

            Your last paragraph reads a bit oddly, but I’m guessing that is your question to me? If so, my answer is that yes…everyone has different experiences so can usually offer various points of view that haven’t been considered before. However, I don’t think that 46 is terribly young nor do I think your wisdom is any more special than anyone else’s. To be fair, I wouldn’t ever say mine is either, because it’s not. Different does not automatically mean special, unfortunately.

            • “But I know what my reaction would be if a child of mine asked for such a thing (namely, it would set off many mental alarms and would immediately make me seek out professional help for him/her), and was wondering if ThatIncel’s parents have a lack of parental empathy, which would explain at least a few things.”

              What kind of a professional help? Therapy? Psychiatry? That would not work. I was 22, almost 23 by that point and in that terrible situation I described. It was already too late.

              • @ThatIncel

                I’m not sure. But if I was in that situation I know I’d show love and support to my child, as well as beg their forgiveness for not noticing sooner that something was amiss (especially if they still lived at home and I was in daily contact with them). Probably not psychiatry…I’m against drugging ones problems away unless it’s the last option available.

                I’m glad you brought this up though, as a number of your posts state that “by age 22/23, it was too late”. Too late for what? If you mean to share your virginity and experience loving intimacy, then I’d say that’s incorrect…I didn’t have sex or understand what physical intimacy could entail til I was 22, and I know a fair amount of guys who didn’t til they were 25-26.

                If you mean the ability to have normal relationships, I’d be more likely to agree with you. There’s a commenter on my blog by the name of Exfernal who recently linked to a bunch of relationship/attachment information, and I fully agree with everything he’s said so far. Ones ability to create strong, lasting relations between friends and relatives is at least partially dependent on how much care was shown during the attachment phase while in childhood. His comments are on my most recent post, if you wish to read them.

                • “I’m not sure. But if I was in that situation I know I’d show love and support to my child, as well as beg their forgiveness for not noticing sooner that something was amiss (especially if they still lived at home and I was in daily contact with them).”

                  And what good what that do? None at all. What could your child do with your life and support? Go fuck itself? You said nothing about how you’d help him. Nothing at all.

                  “I’m glad you brought this up though, as a number of your posts state that “by age 22/23, it was too late”. Too late for what? If you mean to share your virginity and experience loving intimacy, then I’d say that’s incorrect…I didn’t have sex or understand what physical intimacy could entail til I was 22, and I know a fair amount of guys who didn’t til they were 25-26.

                  If you mean the ability to have normal relationships, I’d be more likely to agree with you.”

                  Too late for a normal life, by which I mean normal relationships. It seems we’re in an agreement here. I did have some sex after 22/23 and a one short relationship but my fate was sealed by the time I was 19.

                  “here’s a commenter on my blog by the name of Exfernal who recently linked to a bunch of relationship/attachment information, and I fully agree with everything he’s said so far. Ones ability to create strong, lasting relations between friends and relatives is at least partially dependent on how much care was shown during the attachment phase while in childhood. His comments are on my most recent post, if you wish to read them.”

                  I can’t find it, show me where it is

                  • I said nothing about how I’d help them because I honestly have no idea how I would. I don’t even *want* children (or marriage, for that matter), so I’m never going to be in that position. But if I *did* have a child I’d never let them get to that point anyway…I’m an extremely empathetic and caring person, and I seriously doubt that I wouldn’t notice that my child was hurting to the point they’d go against the natural boundaries between parent and offspring. It just wouldn’t happen, unless they didn’t live with me and didn’t talk to me at all.

                    I don’t believe your fate is ever sealed unless you want it to be. The long-term FwB “relationship” I’m in right now didn’t start til I was 20, and it started as a normal friendship. Until we began having sexual relations when I was 22, I’d always assumed I’d die a virgin. If my life can change, I’m confident yours can too. It won’t be easy, and you’ll have to take the first steps (maybe contact a relationship coach?), but I don’t believe your fate is sealed til you’re either dead or have given up hope entirely.

                    I do not know how to link to particular comments, sorry. But if you go to my blog, his name is Exfernal, and his comments on my two most recent posts are readily available along with the articles he links to. Obviously, you can get to the front page of my blog by clicking on my username.

          • @ThatIncel

            Thanks for the reply, I figured “life” had come up. Take your time, there is no rush on my part. Would it be okay if I asked to be referred to as either Tarnished or Tarn though? Less cognitive dissonance for me that way… 🙂

            Have a pleasant day/night,
            -Tarnished

  8. Tarnished,

    Thanks for responding.

    I’m going through some issues now; I’m very upset about social problems going on now.

    Yes, GGG is seemingly hopeless; thatincelblogger and his buddy Franklin on here have probably rehashed that issue so much that they’re tired of it. I don’t think there’s any more point in rehashing this issue.

    I agree with you per emotional support from family members; it completely depends on the individual family. Brothers/sisters? Out of the question; I’m an only child.

    Feminism and incel? I’m convinced that feminism has EVERYTHING to do with incel, along with other guys on here.

    Okay, you yourself may have been bombarded by personal questions, but this doesn’t mean that they are legitimate questions. Could these personal questions be subtle attempts to attack your personal life and undermine your position/s?

    So you have a male brain bias? Unfortunately I have a female brain bias; unfortunate in that it’s totally socially unacceptable for males.

    Just a polite heads up here: Thatincelblogger abhors psychology and psychiatry as some kind of cult; I agree 100%.

    Pardon my sarcasm in my last paragraph; I’m venting my frustration. I know you’re 29 per your previous post.

    And you are correct! Different certainly doesn’t equate with special. But it certainly doesn’t equate with bad, as society erroneously believes.

    I discuss social problems, sexual issues, feminism, psychology, and other [subjectively] interesting topics on my website http://www.wowedbytruth.com. Check me out! If you’re not comfortable with a particular subject I discuss, please go on to another chapter which might benefit you.

    Have a nice evening.

    • That’s okay, everyone has bad days. I never hold it against anyone. It’s typical to be upset by common social problems, but still important to not let oneself get bogged down by them all the time.

      I’ve not had time to read all of ThatIncel’s or Franklin’s comments, but will try to get through more tonight. If they’ve spoken of this program as much as you say, I’m sure I’ll find out simply by reading through and won’t trouble anyone about it further.

      Yes, I’ve always thought of myself as male growing up and even moreso now. I’m sympathetic to your own plight…perhaps one day we will be accepted by society, gender dysphoria or no.

      While a few of the questions on my blog, especially in the beginning, were undoubtedly as you describe I get the feeling that they are simply more about clarification than anything else. As I’ve mentioned, they do not bother me so long as they adhere to my comments policy and do not violate the safe space I have created to discuss all issues.

      I’m not entirely sure how I feel in regards to psychiatry, as I’ve personally had no encounters with it. I do believe that men, women, and children are over medicated nowadays and that chemicals are favored over actual cures/assistance. Psychology is what you make of it, in my opinion. There are theories I agree with such as those put out by Maslow or Jung, and others I disagree with such as Freud.

      Different is neither good nor bad, it just is. It’s up to us as a thinking/feeling society to determine what traits belong to what actions.

      I go over sex, sexuality, gender roles, singlehood, and relevant topics on my blog.I also use it to talk about childhood sexual abuse (as I’m unfortunately familiar with it) as well as gaming/comics from time to time. I will visit your blog tomorrow after work.

      Pleasant dreams,

      -Tarnished

      • Tarnished,

        Thanks for your response.

        Yes, transgender ideology, which undoubtedly stems from unusual prenatal happenstances, should be completely accepted. Fantasizing is a healthy sign of one’s creative mind. So is some nonconformity.
        For example, as a youth my parents were browbeating me for trivia such as which direction my belt was pointing (the female instead of male direction), putting on oven mitts, and enshrouding myself with an afghan. Classmates complained that I held my books and laughed the female way. My not liking sports was mocked, etc. etc.

        However, I’m against the idea of interchangeable gender roles; I’m extremely conservative that way. That breeds feminism which breeds incel and other negation of men.

        My biggest problems is autism/Asperger’s which people shun me for.

        I never experienced sexual abuse, but I continue to experience mental and emotional abuse and neglect by society; people will never change.

        Have a nice evening.

    • Just a clarification. I don’t think psychology and psychiatry themselves are a cult. I think they’re valid disciplines, though not really exact. But liberals have a cult of psychology and psychiatry, which is a completely different thing.

      • thatincelblogger,

        I agree, psychology/psychiatry is not a cult, although liberals may have a cult of psychology/psychiatry.

        However, psychs generally keep their patients as long as they can to make the maximum amount of money, instead of finding a solution to the problem.

        Also, psychologists generally want to conform their patients to society, instead of helping their patients cope with society. The patient is considered crazy for not conforming, instead of the truth: society is crazy.

        So between these two reasons, substituting the truth for a lie, and trying to suck money from their patients instead of caring about them, renders psychology/psychiatry worse than a cult; worse than useless.

        • “although liberals may have a cult of psychology/psychiatry”

          May have? I have yet to see a liberal who doesn’t have a cult of psychology/psychiatry. However, they are also mocking them at the same time by diagnosing. Liberals are idiotic scum.

          “However, psychs generally keep their patients as long as they can to make the maximum amount of money, instead of finding a solution to the problem.”

          This may be true for some of them in America but in my country we have single payer system and most people get “free” treatment there, which has its own set of problems- long waiting lists, short time spent in talk therapy etc.

          “Also, psychologists generally want to conform their patients to society, instead of helping their patients cope with society. The patient is considered crazy for not conforming, instead of the truth: society is crazy.”

          Absolutely.

          • thatincelblogger,

            I very much agree with you, but tend to avoid the word cult. This is because the word “cult” has been subject to so much subjectively and manipulation. Everybody seems to have their own definition of “cult.”

            Your second response caught me by surprise. Yes, your socialist country is much different; what I said here doesn’t apply to you. However, what I said is absolutely correct for those who live in the United States.

                  • thatincelblogger,

                    Knowledgeable Americans such as my father understand that Europe is Socialist. I’m not saying it’s completely socialist. It may have elements of Capitalism too. Whenever the government taxes the people, and uses that money for “free” programs, that’s socialism in action.

                    Tarnished,
                    The boundaries between parent and child having been violated alarm you, okay. But isn’t that due to the parent not setting the boundaries in stone to begin with? Why must we suppose that such boundaries would be automatically followed?

                    If parents didn’t neglect certain aspects in raising their children as mine have, they might not feel the need to march them off to witchdoctors.

                    Have a nice evening.

  9. Pingback: Replies to Miss Tarnished’s questions | thatincelblogger

  10. Well. I read this and it was a depressing and disturbing read. I still think you’re focussing your anger/pain in the wrong direction, from your anti-feminist sentiment to the self-deprecation. I agree with almost none of your opinions, and some of the things you say, I find disgusting. You are, however, simply another person who is hurting, and I feel the only way out of this for you, is to recognize that even though you’re broken, you can still positively change your own life, and you’re worthy of that change. You seem to be addicted to self-loathing, so much that you’re willing to post things online that will do nothing but distance the people who come across this blog. It really seems emotionally masochistic. This stuff that you believe has made you the way you are, is all in your head. I don’t mean that in the sense that it isn’t real and you don’t truly feel/believe it, I mean that in the sense that you are choosing to see things from a certain, very detrimental perspective; where you see missed chances and opportunities you will never have again, other people might choose to see a learning experience, and build on it. I recognize that what I’m saying probably sounds hollow and platitude-ish and you very likely won’t listen to me, but I am sincere. You don’t have to live like this. You can make yourself into someone in whose existence you find pride. You might feel like your life is over, but it isn’t until you’re dead. Every moment is an opportunity to change. Giving in to despair is the easiest thing in the world, but pulling yourself out of it, would be something to be proud of. I pity you, but only because you have no hope, and no faith in yourself. Anyone, can do better for themselves than this, if they choose to. I’m not going to take your poll officially, but I would answer yes. None of this is meant to offend you, and I’d prefer you didn’t reply at all if you feel like being antagonistic. Best wishes to you even though you called me stupid.

    • I don’t feel like being or not being antagonistic. I am also pretty sure you have no ill intentions with this message. So I will just say what I think about this.

      This post is mostly hollow platitudes, yes. All sprinkled with some things that are just plain wrong. For example

      I don’t think I’m an anti-feminist simply for focusing my anger/pain somewhere. Anti-feminism is based on much more than that. Like conscience, common sense or a desire for truth. As for self-depreciation I don’t see it at all. I think I managed to appraise my situation correctly.

      “You seem to be addicted to self-loathing, so much that you’re willing to post things online that will do nothing but distance the people who come across this blog.”

      It won’t distance everybody. It will distance those I don’t see as people at all. My friend Franklin said some wise words about this the other day: Liberalism is an intolerant fundamentalist religion which is a mutant form of Protestantism. So Liberals view my articles as heresy, and this is why they are so outraged. This articles are like writing in the Medieval Europe that Mary probably had sex with some guy when she got pregnant with Jesus and used God as an excuse to cover it up. Imagine the indignation such an article would have caused, pretty much just like my article cause with Liberals. Only fundamentalists like Liberals can be so outraged by mere words. In most cultures, bad actions are required to get people upset.

      What you have to understand is that “people” my articles will distance never could feel any empathy toward anybody and understand anything but their narrow religious worldview.

      ” I mean that in the sense that you are choosing to see things from a certain, very detrimental perspective; where you see missed chances and opportunities you will never have again, other people might choose to see a learning experience, and build on it.”

      These other people were never in my situation. There wasn’t much for me to learn because my experiences were sparse in both frequency and the number of things they included. For example, what was there for me to learn from The Fatal One situation? Nothing.

      • I don’t know what you specifically could have taken away from that experience. It wasn’t my experience and I’m a very different person from you. From an objective standpoint without all the information though, you said you made some egregious mistakes. There’s one thing to learn from. You also said she toyed with you because she was uncertain in herself. I think a lot of people will be involved with a person like this at some point or another. I’m not incel, so I don’t know how it feels for you specifically, but I do know what it feels like to be with someone who doesn’t actually know what they want. What I would take away, is that she wasn’t worth my time, and people who aren’t sure of exactly what they want, and that I am definitely what they want, are also not worth my time. I understand that this doesn’t cover your standpoint, but I can only speak from my perspective. I get that you probably see almost any real life interaction with a woman as a positive thing, but it really isn’t, unless you’re dealing with women who affect you in a positive way. Telling you to be picky sounds absurd even to me, but I do know that as long as you’re dissatisfied with yourself, you’re only going to attract people who allow you to perpetuate your self-image, either by their acceptance or rejection of you.

        • Yes, you are correct. This wasn’t your experience and the problem is that it is yet not explained sufficiently so I can’t blame you either.

          There is nothing to learn from my egregious mistakes because they were made in a situation that can never be repeated again. By this I don’t mean a situation of a girl wanting to be with me but exact details of the 2007 situation.

          “. You also said she toyed with you because she was uncertain in herself. ”

          I said that? I don’t feel like looking it up now but I don’t think that was the reason. I have no idea what the reason was actually nor do I think about it.

          ” get that you probably see almost any real life interaction with a woman as a positive thing, but it really isn’t, unless you’re dealing with women who affect you in a positive way.”

          I don’t see almost any real life interaction as a positive thing. A vast majority of my interactions with women were extremely traumatic.

          ” but I do know that as long as you’re dissatisfied with yourself, you’re only going to attract people who allow you to perpetuate your self-image, either by their acceptance or rejection of you.”

          I think that’s just one the phrases that get thrown around but don’t mean much. I’m not as dissatisfied with myself as I am with my situation.

          • The things I say are really just my opinion, or my takeaway from what you said. Not really worth trying to disprove my interpretation of what you’ve said, because it’s never going exactly match what you intended to say. That can’t be helped; language can be limiting at times. The point I was trying to get across, cliché as it may seem, was that your situation can change if you work at changing it. You might have a lot of potential as a partner for someone, who knows? But potential isn’t anything unless you are discovering it and building on it. And nobody gets all their life or relationship experience all in one go. We all build on it a bit at a time and use those experiences for future reference. I feel almost as if I shouldn’t have to explain this to you, but your experiences in a general sense, are not that different from average experiences, only your perspective has made them into something far worse than they actually are, at least from an outside perspective. Again, this is all intended kindly and not to belittle you, and I hope you can see that. This whole blog is a little sad to me, so I likely won’t read anymore, but I do wish you the best.

            • Yeah, thanks for your good wishes and civility. While I don’t think you’re trying to belittle me you’re not helping at all.

              I’m not saying that because I think feminists are a mortal danger to humanity (which they are) or due to the fact that I think you’re hypocritical and ignorant (which you are). I’d say this to everybody writing the kind of content you do.

              Your words are just empty platitudes, they have no real content whatsoever.

  11. TIB, If you are still low thyroid, and fat, or whatever, I can help you. Or at least I can direct you to the proper informational and testing services to assess what you have and begin disease reversal. I’m not a normal scientist. I’m like the keymaker from the matrix. I’m in similar straits to your own; I feel compassion for you. If you need my free assistance just reply.

  12. Maybe you could go to a prostitute or join a free love group in order to gain some sexual experiences and overcome your health problems? I’m not sure if this would violate your ethical principles, but maybe it would put you in a better state of mind and in a better position to find the real relationship that you want.

    • “Maybe you could go to a prostitute or join a free love group in order to gain some sexual experiences and overcome your health problems?”

      What for? My problem isn’t sexual inexperience and I’m not a virgin.

      My problem is that I am not a trucker overlord so I can’t even engage in sex.

      Free love groups don’t exist here anyway.

      None of this would have made me noncel and thus solve my health problems.

      It doesn’t violate my ethical principles at all and I am saving for a prostitute but all of it is completely irrelevant.

      My state of mind is a problem but not the way you think. My state of mind needs to be changed in order for me to find somebody if I could lower my IQ a lot and become brainwashed and thuggish.

      In order for me to achieve a state of mind that would enable me to find a relationship shoving a spear through my brain or putting steel on my knuckles and hitting women would be more useful than seeing a prostitute or joining such a group, even if one did exist here.

      • If you really think this is true, then why don’t you just pretend to be an unintelligent “thug” and get a woman that way? Even if you are normally too socially inhibited to act that way, you could probably get drunk in order to lower your inhibitions.

        • Sorry, this is just ridiculous. You think somebody could just change their personality completely by getting drunk or something? Even if that were possible (spoiler- it isn’t) what about tomorrow?

          Do you really think people can just pretend to be whatever they want? That some aspie math geek can pretend to be a PUA if he wants to? That a ghetto black man can pretend to talk like George HW Bush in 1993? Silly.

  13. Pingback: The gathering storm | CoAlphaAntiModernistIncelBlogger

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  16. Your “Fatal One” is a poster-girl for borderline personality disorder. Normal people do not declare their desire to be in a serious relationship within an hour of meeting you. That’s the weird antics of a classic BDP emotional parasite. They have sharp radar for guys like you.

    Everything else in your list of facts confirms this. The walking-on-clouds sensation of your first date as you experienced the full force of the BDP seduction attack. The 180-degree turn from desire to rejection which hits you like a cartoon anvil. The horrible mistake of yours which you allude to as the reason for her leaving you—most likely something totally trivial; blown out of all proportion by your BDP female with her uncanny ability to smell out your guilt and toxic shame.

    Guys like you are big soft targets for these soul vampires. I know that doesn’t make it any easier, but understand that it wasn’t you, it was her.

    • I agree that it wasn’t me now but I don’t think she has BPD. What she did was not that much different than what other women did to me. I am not actually sure if BPD exists but most women today fill most of the criteria.

      I still think that the mistake I did was pretty serious. I basically told a girl who wanted me that I am not sure if I want her.
      But I agree that in itself it wasn’t reason enough.

      She lost attraction at some point.

      When?

      a)after our fight the day before she left?
      b) when I became whiny after she left to a vacation?
      c) after some other mistakes?
      d)before all this for some reason?
      e)because she just found me weird?

      Who knows. I’m leaning towards “b” last years but who knows. It’s something I thought about for many, many years. Not even she could really give a coherent answer.

      However, today I know that it isn’t her fault in any wider perspective. Feminism destroys women and makes them act that way.

      My first real gf who left me after she struggled so hard to gain my trust after TFO, the girl I lost my virginity to etc, they all did heinous things as well. And so did other women to a smaller degree.

      Feminism destroys women and men allowed feminism.

      These days nothing like this could ever be repeated. I see women as wicked, untrained dogs.

      Also, don’t forget that she just turned 16 during that time. I am against teenage sexuality and relationships being criminalized, but can’t really expect them to act reasonably in everything as well.

      And in the end, I dunno much about her life today but she seems like some average slut fucking retards, chads and skaters. More a common type skank than some BPD soul vampire.

    • Also, I have to note something else. You address TFO’s behavior and recognize pathology. But this post explains pathological behavior by several women. My first gf or the second one, the one who I had to coerce, both acted crazy at times and could likely be diagnosed with something. Take my first gf and the fact that she considered stalking me when I ignored her in 2009, for example. Or my second gf and her disgusting behavior with falsely offering sex and then falsely retracting the offer. All of these are extremely aberrant behaviors. Still, one of these women is my best friend now.

      Similar with that girl I lost my virginity to and her broken promises.

      I wouldn’t go into online diagnosing. They were just skanks.

  17. Pingback: In defense of Maria Ladenburger’s fate | CoAlphaAntiModernistIncelBlogger

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