Love-shyness 3 – thoughts and conclusions

Required reading to understand this post better:

What is love-shyness?

Love-shyness 1- my experience with love-shyness

Love-shyness 2- resources about love-shyness

This post will be a the final one of my series on love-shyness. I will try to make some final conclusions about love-shyness.


It is sad I even have to point this out. Pointing out that love-shyness exists would be as unnecessary as pointing out that any other phobia exists, or, for that matter, that cats or chairs exists – if we were living in a sane world. Unfortunately, we are not. We are living in a world where a certain fascist cancer is spreading its lunacy as an unquestionable dogma.

So, when somebody tells you that love-shyness doesn’t exist because such a term isn’t in the DSM just try to remember what they are actually denying – they are denying that there are people who are unable to approach a member of the opposite sex with romantic intent, even in the case of knowing that the result will not be a rejection, that there are people unable to make romantic/sexual initiative towards a person they know without that person doing anything like that first, even in the case of knowing that the result will not be a rejection and that there are people unable to reciprocate romantic/sexual interest of others, ie often afraid to reciprocate indicators of interest.

A sane person knows that discussing with people who seriously make this claim is a waste of time. They are lunatics.


The diagnostic criteria for 300.29 Specific Phobias as outlined by the DSM-IV-TR are:

1. Marked and persistent fear that is excessive or unreasonable, cued by the presence or anticipation of a specific object or situation (e.g., flying, heights, animals, receiving an injection, seeing blood).

2. Exposure to the phobic stimulus almost invariably provokes an immediate anxiety response, which may take the form of a situationally bound or situationally predisposed panic attack.

3. The person recognizes that the fear is excessive or unreasonable.

4. The phobic situation(s) is avoided or else is endured with intense anxiety or distress.

5. The avoidance, anxious anticipation or distress in the feared situation(s) interferes significantly with the person’s normal routine, occupational (or academic) functioning, or social activities or relationships, or there is marked distress about having the phobia.

6. In individuals under the age of 18, the duration is at least 6 months.

7.The anxiety, panic attack, or phobic avoidance associated with the specific object or situation are not better accounted for by another mental disorder, such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (e.g., fear of dirt in someone with an obsession about contamination), posttraumatic stress disorder (e.g., avoidance of stimuli associated with a severe stressor), separation anxiety disorder (e.g., avoidance of school), social phobia (e.g., avoidance of social situations because of fear of embarrassment), panic disorder with agoraphobia, or agoraphobia without history of panic disorder.

Love-shyness obviously fits all the criteria.

1. The fear is obviously excessive and unreasonable as there is nothing very dangerous about doing things love-shyness prevents you from doing. It is triggered by specific situations.

2. Everybody who experienced love-shyness knew that they were so terrified of approaching or expressing interest that just thinking about it was impossible.

3. I never met a love-shy person who claimed that his or her fear is somehow justified. They all know it’s an irrational impulse.

4. If some of these men and women had to approach potential partners under gunpoint many would still not be able to do it or pass out of fear.

5.Being young and love-shy is a disaster, especially for males. It makes it unlikely that they will ever have a relationship or sex. Love-shyness is one of the major causes of incel, which itself causes enough distress.

6. Love-shyness almost always starts in early teenage years as teenagers began to be interested in the opposite sex.

7. I think there are very good arguments to claim that love-shyness is a specific phobia, which I will describe in the next part.


There are those who claim that love-shyness is merely social phobia. Such people, if I can even call them that, are just slightly less insane than those described in my first section.

There are usually two types of such people.

The first types are almost as brain dead as the first section types who just straight out deny that it exists and don’t want to listen to any arguments. Anyway, the this type of lunatics believe that love-shyness is just social phobia and don’t want to argue any further.

The second type of lunatics will try to argue their idea a bit and say that love-shyness is social phobia as it somehow deals with, you know… people.
I took a look at the list of phobias and found that there are different names for phobias of two numbers (!!). Yet this should somehow be the same thing? LOVE-SHYNESS IS MUCH MORE NARROW THAN A SOCIAL PHOBIA, and I explicitly make this distinction by saying

Inability to

1. Talk to members of the opposite sex when not taking romantic/sexual initiative without being horribly anxious
2. Make initiative to get to know better a member of the opposite sex they already met without romantic/sexual intention
3. Make a cold approach to a member of the opposite sex without romantic/sexual intention

are not signs of love-shyness but social phobia.


I really explained most of this in previous parts. It is an utter shame that something like this isn’t in the DSM. The reasons why it isn’t are somewhat complex but amount to the huge stigma around this problem, the fact that psychiatry is mostly bullshit and the fact that shrinks themselves were probably never love-shy.

Of course that it shouldn’t go there under the name “love-shyness” but some kind of specific romantic phobia but it should definitely be there.


I believe that love-shyness affects men and women equally. However, this doesn’t mean that they will have the same experience and prognosis with their love-shyness. Despite what the delusional TAC idiots will tell you men are the ones expected to initiate things in this culture. And this exactly the reason why it will be easier for women to beat love-shyness, as their chances of the other side taking the initiative are much higher. If a woman is somewhat socialized, doesn’t look terrible and isn’t picky she has to be extremely love-shy, to the point of inability to reciprocate any advances, for love-shyness to be her long-term problem.
These are facts.


Unless you are an extremely rich and attractive man, which will make women chase you, love-shyness is a good indicator against against you having a girlfriend or sexual experiences, possibly ever. Point 5 explains why it usually isn’t like that for women.
It will make you incel since your teens and you will suffer a lot. There’s no getting around that. While there is always a chance for a miracle expect to suffer for a long time. This isn’t a phobia of spiders or some shit you need to avoid – this is a phobia that makes you scared of essential things. It will endanger your health. There is one general rule about this whole entire thing – the longer you’re incel the harder it is to beat it. And we all know that incel kills.
The 50 year-old man I’m talking about in this post had been love-shy all of his life until he turned 50 he could finally take it no more.


I am saying almost certainly for one reason only – I don’t know about any experiences with CBT and love-shyness. Theoretically it is possible that CBT can help in some cases. However, even in the unlikely case that it would help some people, I am quite unconvinced that it would help as efficiently as some other, better methods that have been proposed.

As for any other form of therapy or drugs it is certainly a pure waste of time if you want to treat love-shyness. You can’t talk your way out of this nor can you change this with anti-depressants or other medicine.


Brian Gilmartin, who I mentioned in previous articles on love-shyness mentioned practice dating as a way of dealing with this phobia.

This was my idea

Program for treating love-shyness

Due to their phobia, love-shy males can’t be treated as pure incel males. In order for them to be cured their erotophobia must be defeated. To achieve this goal women, all of whom would freely apply and be paid for it, would teach these men how to cuddle and kiss – which, to most of them, would be their first experience of these things. In the end, once their phobia has receded, there would be an option of these women sleeping with them, but only if both parties agree. If any of these males refuse to have their first time that way their wishes would be respected. Also, if a woman who had been this man’s dating coach for some reason refuses to sleep with him her wish should be respected and some other woman in the program should sleep with him.
This program would eliminate love-shyness. After it is completed formerly love-shy participants could join a program for incels or try meeting women on their own.


We are living in an idiocracy and barbarism. Scientists are mostly leftist scum whose religion doesn’t allow them to deal with these issues. Most of psychiatry is a hoax.
Even if this problem were to be recognized one day tax payers this doesn’t mean that it will be dealt with any better than it is now. Whoever thinks that the government will do something about this is wrong.


Love-shyness can be beaten. If I were able to talk to myself at 15 I think I’d scare the kid so much by merely telling him what will happen if he doesn’t get over this phobia that he’d be more frightened of not getting over it than the phobia itself.
The disaster which befell me was just a re-run of many similar tragic destinies of anonymous broken men, some of which are described in Gilmartin’s book. Anybody who doesn’t beat this might suffer the similar fate.

Your fear is not real. Oh, I know it is very real for you. But you just have to do it. You have to feel the fear and do it anyway. I don’t care if you will shake, puke, sweat or cry. Do it anyway. It’s extremely unlikely that somebody else will do it for you. And unless you do it you’re in big, big trouble. Every day you’re living with this fear means you’re one day closer to doom.


If you read all three of these texts you should by now be somewhat aware of the problem. Please, help your love-shy family and friends.
Children, especially male chilren, are especially important because they’re the most vulnerable ones and their problem has the best chance of being solved. I proposed The Prostitute Scam for parents of love-shy male children.
In this scam they would hire a prostitute to live as a tenant and pretend to seduce the teenager. It is crucial that this happens as early as first signs of interest in girls and love-shyness can be recognized.


Love-shyness is a serious, dangerous phobia. If it isn’t dealt with it will probably ruin the person’s life. Unless you have respect and understanding for these facts you are not a human being but a hate machine.

If you ever ask yourself if my views on what I call TAC are correct or not ask yourself what an average “compassionate”, bleeding heart, social justice crusader thinks about this devastating malady. Only then will you understand how necessary it is to eradicate all liberals.

And with this ends my serial on love-shyness.

Dedicated to
JM (1963-2013),
a victim of love-shyness
and all other victims of love-shyness
May they know peace

33 thoughts on “Love-shyness 3 – thoughts and conclusions

  1. thatincelblogger – we have discussed this on a number of occasions, both here and on other forums. UNLESS you have experienced/ are experiencing Incel / Love shyness, YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT IT IS LIKE. You don’t have to tell me what it is like.

    So what is it gonna take to make society actually take note of the plight of such people?

    Personally, I am worried by this. And I will tell you why. I am afraid, REALLY afraid of an Incel 9/11. I think that is a very real possibility, and then we will have the backlash. Both you and I know which country this is likely to occur in. Both you and I KNOW what that county’s response will be.

    Incel/Loveshy men and women MUST NOT be allowed to become a convenient scapegoat, or reason for further erosion of civil liberties. But I fear that they could become just that. I understand your motives for this site, I share your concerns, and for what it’s worth, I salute you for at least having the courage to create a site such as this. It is needed and it will ALWAYS have my support.

    • Mikey:
      We have to make sure that an INCEL 9/11 never happens. Don’t ever forget that the feminist establishment would like nothing more than to see male sexuality suppressed (by violent means, preferably) and an INCEL 9/11 would give them all the excuse needed to do it.

  2. If you’re phobic of approaching members of the opposite sex with sexual intent, how did you manage to proposition your mother for sex?

    • If you read the first part of this you’d understand I stopped being phobic in 2011 and that love-shyness is not just about sexual intent. As for my mother, she can hardly be counted as other women because I’ve known her all my life and lived with her for over two decades.

  3. What is hilarious about this is that you think I am an aspiring scholar or that love-shyness would be accepted as a disorder if I were one and wrote like one.

    As for my sources, I don’t understand what is that you want. I can’t make up 123213213 studies if the term or the problems behind it aren’t even accepted in science, can’t I?

    • Today’s parsha (Torah reading) was about how Moses used threats against the pharaoh to free the Israelites from Egypt. The Hebrew Bible is full of threats and the slaughtering of evil people like the Midianites. It’s a good thing that the Bible wasn’t subject to your criteria or it never would have been published. But then again, the whole point of the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament) is that cultures like yours are evil and must be destroyed.

      • Franklin:
        But preferably destroyed more like Alexander the Great did it, rather than Moses.

        P.S. I haven’t finished reading the link you sent with all the Holiday madness going on, but I’ll be getting to it soon.

        • The Hellenistic period became decadent very quickly because Alexander tolerated dysfunctional cultures. To give an idea of the thinking during this time, Zeno, founder of the Stoics, wrote in Politeia that in an ideal society, unisex clothing should be worn as a way to obliterate unnecessary distinctions between women and men. Among another group at the time, the Cynics, women and men alike were free to follow their sexual inclinations. Israel didn’t suffer from this fate because Moses did not tolerate dysfunctional cultures.

    • “You don’t have to be a historian or go to grad school, but part of your coursework should have included how to write and present arguements without resorting to threats, insults or general histrionics.”

      But I’m not writing a school paper or a research paper or anything of that nature. All I’m writing is a private blog. I am not obliged to uphold any standards if I don’t want to. None at all. I could let my dog sit on the keyboard and publish what comes out of that.

      I mean, I understand what you’re saying but, again- I’m not a doctor or a scientist. Gilmartin is a doctor and a scientist and he hasn’t managed to convince the medical and scientific community. So what will a European blogger who never finished med school or sociology or anything like that do? But if one day a scientist does read what I’m saying he/she won’t care about expletives. Not unless they are a bad scientist.

      “Wasn’t one of your dreams also to write a book? If you ever want to achieve that and have it be more than forgotten ramblings in an e-book you’ll need to learn to write without these crutches (and also the the calls for genocide).”

      95 percent of my book is basically re-telling my life in a way first article on LS does. In any case, it seems to be that you somehow assume that one cannot be taken seriously if parts of his writing contains certain content. That may be true for a majority of people but the majority isn’t rational. Rational people might not agree with certain things but won’t dismiss everything the person says because of that.

      “AS for your sources- you’re right you can make up the studies, but you’re essentially making up other things . Lets break it down- the TAC page- a term which you admit you coined- no evidence or warrants for any of your claims. In fact you end the page requesting for more your readers to add more traits. You’ve created this community in your mind of people you hate and are willing to add millions more on a simple whim (“Oh you’re right, I also hate people who [do/think this way]) but you’re treating it as if its a factual group of people on this page. Where’s the evidence- well you linked to you’re own wordpress describing it so it must be true! This kind of writing would get an F in any course.”

      Again, just what are you rambling about?

      This argument would make any sense if I were trying to prove that this is some organization or a movement. But I’m not doing that. In fact, I ask a question about whether or not this is a real cult or a movement and reply like this
      No, it isn’t. It describes hundreds of millions of people across the world – of course that it is impossible for all these people to be in contact. Most TAC members will only meet a tiny fraction of other TAC members in their lifetimes, and of course that most of them won’t form any movements.

      So, no, asshole, I’m not trying to describe them on any scientific basis nor do I claim that they are a community. I am merely describing a huge group of people, not sharing any specific traits but these. This is why I called the people reading and commenting here to help me add new ones. I am not writing on a specific group of people that has any formal gatherings or a doctrine.
      I mean, what kind of evidence do you want? That people with such traits exist? If you never met any you’re either lying or insane.

      Also, you’re wrong that I’m adding millions more on a whim. Having just one trait doesn’t make you a member of TAC (thanks for reminding me to make that update in the questions section)

      “You’re section here on phobias- this is probably the best part of the page because while you link to a wiki page at least its not contested. And you lay out a reasonable enough argument where I can see/agree with the larger points- these are the characteristics of a phobia and I can see how an individual could have these issues with a specific issues such as romantic and/or sexual interests. Its still problematic because your arguments rely on personal experiences/anecdotes but at the least you could provide some evidence of your claims- for example- people often post screenshots of your writing when they are making a claim about you- use that same method and post screenshots of specific posts which reference the point you’re making. Someone talking about their experiences, the harm a person is experiencing, etc. Black out their names or other identifying information if you are concerned about their privacy. but show some evidence. Its still problematic as its all personal claims on the internet but at least its something- right now you’ve given no one a reason to think its not just stuff you’ve made up.”

      You’re asking me to provide evidence that there are people with such a phobia? Like I haven’t written an entire article with various sources, including books, some of which are full of testimonies of such people, or videos on this? What is it exactly that you want? Am I to understand that you want written confessions from love-shy people that they have this phobia from people in places like or an certain e-mail I’d open? That might be done but it is pointless for the wider scope of things – reasonable people already know this is a problem and unreasonable TAC scum can’t be convinced of anything anyway.

      Maybe I got you wrong. Please explain.

      “However all of this matters little as long as you continue to advocate genocidal ideas. If you can so casually (or with such hate) call for the deaths of millions than you never deserve to be taken seriously.”

      Why? Or, to elaborate further, why are monsters who say much more ludicrous things, like that misandry isn’t real or that incel doesn’t exist, taken seriously and even applauded? Who in their right mind wouldn’t call for extermination of such hate machines?
      No, I won’t step away from my beliefs. If this makes you not take anything I say seriously fine by me – but in that case you are the problem.

      Also, I’m not using any threats. Like almost everybody in the West you’ve lost the idea of what a threat really is.
      A threat would be “I will kill all atheists.” This isn’t a threat, I am merely asserting my opinion that any healthy society would get rid of this malignant cancer eating away at it. Not because I personally don’t like them but because untreated malignant cancers eventually kill the host.

      • Lol. This is quite hilarious, you know… You chose to ignore almost all of my reply and then threw this hissy fit about the last part of it.

        Anyway, hate speech or not, it is justified and necessary. If you can’t understand why you’re a part of the problem. These monsters are million times more dangerous than people like Stalin or Hitler. But then again you’re a guy stupid enough to demand proof that incel exists so you no surprise here.

        Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

      • Take Responsibility:
        “Referring to a group of people (or a random group of people whose traits you dislike) as a malignant cancer which needs to be eradicated is hate speech.”

        And as we all know, feminists themselves NEVER engage in that kind of hate speech, don’t we? Specimens of their best-selling published titles:

        Maureen Dowd: ‘Are Men Necessary?’

        Hanna Rosin: ‘The End of Men and the Rise of Women’

        Andrea Dworkin: ‘Letters From a War Zone.”

        Let’s hope that’s tolerance of other groups enough! LOL

  4. GGGF:
    Thanks for the clarification in this article—I was clearly confusing love-shyness with social phobia in my other posts on the subject. I would say that a lot of iNCELs do suffer from social phobias too (possibly including myself) rather than love-shyness since the phobia is largely reinforced by society.

    Still that type of INCEL shouldn’t be overlooked as a serious social problem. But do you think that’s more of an MRA than an INCEL issue?

    • Hm… I guess you could say that some social phobias too are reinforced by society.

      But the topic in which MRA and incel issues are somewhat interwoven is something you talk about a lot – that misandry and femifascism make a lot of men frightened of even looking for a relationship, or make women reject them.

  5. Hey whats going on. Im new here. I’m a 23 year old incel and can perfectly relate to your frustration. I think its unfair for males to have such a high sex drive but be unable to quench the strong thirst when one is bad with the opposite sex. It creates a festering rage that I want to release kind of in a similar manner to George Sodini but i just haven’t reached my breaking point or given up yet.

    • Hello. I have some questions for you

      1. Are you aware that incel is also defined as a lack of romantic relationship?

      2. Do you long for a romantic relationship as well? All you mention here is sex.

          • I havent tried any incel communities but i’m incel because like many here, i have extreme shyness around females. I’ve been described as “good looking” but have been called “wierd” or “awkward”, been this way since childhood. I’ve had one sex/romantic partner that that lasted for 2 months and have been in a dry spell since June 2012. Had a date a week ago recently where the girl wasn’t feeling me and ended in failure.

  6. Hello. I just want to say I have really appreciated reading your blog and such on the issue of incelness/love shyness. However how can you tell if your love shy?(not able to make a move) or truly incel?(too ugly, too short, not tall enough, not popular enough, not white enough, not black enough, etc.?) or can it be a mixture? How? Is the problem REALLY the inability to make a move or is it not making a move because of external setbacks, ie looks. I am in dire need of help here, I’m 17, and incel(I wouldn’t say loveshy because I don’t have ANY prospects, or DO I? Damn confusion), and Incel Hell is destroying me day by day. I get no real sympathy from anyone except for maybe my mom, but even then sometimes she has a tendency to belittle my incelism(largely I believe due to the fact that she can’t seem to come to terms and see how big of a damn deal this is to me or other incels. And how important the biological imperative of sex is to overall human health, happiness, productivity, etc is to men AND women even though a lot of people would have you believe that women don’t care about sexual intimacy) and I’ll be graduating in a few months. The window of time shuts day by day that I’ll have a “chance”, to put it bluntly, to fuck prime women. Or to better put it, break the incel cycle that’s already starting to spin out of control now so it won’t completely snowball on me when I’m older. I need help here, and I’ve NO ONE to turn to, I’m a freak, a weirdo, or a loser for talking out about this. And I can’t just sit back and accept this like nothing. Damnation be to ANYONE who says ought to as well. Incelism is a CANCER that CONSUMES YOU on the inside until you can’t bear it anymore and go sodini, commit suicide like the poor soul above, or turn to rape, etc. in extreme cases.

    • Ok, here comes the reply… Just know one thing. If you came here for some help that’s ok. If you came here for a solution I am afraid you won’t be given one. Various people can offer you various solutions but I don’t know which or is the right for you or if there is even one that is right for you.

      I don’t know the solution. I am as lost as you are, just in a much worse position as I am older than you.

      “However how can you tell if your love shy?(not able to make a move) or truly incel?(too ugly, too short, not tall enough, not popular enough, not white enough, not black enough, etc.?) or can it be a mixture? How? Is the problem REALLY the inability to make a move or is it not making a move because of external setbacks, ie looks. I’m 17, and incel(I wouldn’t say loveshy because I don’t have ANY prospects, or DO I? Damn confusion), and Incel Hell is destroying me day by day. ”

      Well, that is easy. Look at the three fears that are love-shyness.

      If you have any of these fears you are love-shy. Being love-shy has nothing to do with being ugly, poor or short. Sure, being some of this might have caused it in the past but that’s another matter – my point is that you either are or aren’t love-shy regardless of these things.
      Same thing with prospects- you either are or aren’t love-shy regardless of prospects.
      If you don’t have these fears you are a “pure incel”, which means incel for reasons other than love-shyness.

      ” I get no real sympathy from anyone except for maybe my mom, but even then sometimes she has a tendency to belittle my incelism(largely I believe due to the fact that she can’t seem to come to terms and see how big of a damn deal this is to me or other incels. And how important the biological imperative of sex is to overall human health, happiness, productivity, etc is to men AND women even though a lot of people would have you believe that women don’t care about sexual intimacy) and I’ll be graduating in a few months. ”

      I am very sorry about that. Having parents who don’t understand is hell. But their attitudes reflect the attitudes of all society, even those people who aren’t malicious but just ignorant. Me and other incel activists are fighting against these attitudes.

      “The window of time shuts day by day that I’ll have a “chance”, to put it bluntly, to fuck prime women. Or to better put it, break the incel cycle that’s already starting to spin out of control now so it won’t completely snowball on me when I’m older. I need help here, and I’ve NO ONE to turn to, I’m a freak, a weirdo, or a loser for talking out about this.”

      This part about fucking women in their prime… That’s the only thing mentioned here you shouldn’t worry about so much. I think red pillers go to far when they say that women can’t be in her prime after 25 or something. I think a woman can be in her prime up to around 35 if she takes good care of herself or be ugly and messed up when 20 years old. Also, even if what red pillers say is the truth if you stop being incel you might be able to find a woman who is in what they see as prime so don’t worry about that.
      As for everything else, I think it’s good you’re thinking about this early – you’re much more advanced than I was at your age. But, like I said, I don’t know the solution. What I do know is that you have to find one fast as it might snowball very fast – time goes by as quickly as blink, kid, and as you get older it only gets more difficult. The fact that you’re thinking about this at a relatively early age is a good sign.

      “And I can’t just sit back and accept this like nothing. Damnation be to ANYONE who says ought to as well. Incelism is a CANCER that CONSUMES YOU on the inside until you can’t bear it anymore and go sodini, commit suicide like the poor soul above, or turn to rape, etc. in extreme cases.”

      Whoever says that you should make peace with incel is somebody you should probably get away from, or just not take them too seriously. They’re likely weirdos with asexual and aromantic tendencies, empathyless people with mental problems or just plain douches who wouldn’t stand being in your position for 5 minutes. Don’t ever listen to such advice. People giving it you have much more problems than you ever will.
      Even killing yourself or others is a healthier reaction than just making peace with incel – I am not saying it is a desirable reaction or that you should do it. It ain’t so. Beating it is the best solution. I am just that even such reactions are healthier than turning into a robot.

      • Thanks for the reply. And yeah day in and day out I struggle. Each day the pain gets worse and worse and worse. I don’t really even see the point of getting up, shaving, bathing, trying to dress nice, fixing my hair and trying to have good nutrition and stuff, what’s the damn point? Whom shall I impress? No girls will talk to me, they all ignore me like I don’t exist and if they do actually acknowledge the fact that I exist it is out of pity, disgust, or they’re trying to use their “pussy power”(all hetero guys know what this is incel or not) to bum free favors and shit off of a desperate lonely degenerate like me. More than likely they’ve heard rumors about me being a virgin loser, or infer that due to me literally always being alone, and stuff. Each and every day I SCOUR the net looking for solutions and I come across nothing but bullshit cliche “advice” that NEVER pans out in reality. It’s all just PC bullshit coddling to internet dwelling entitled princess bitches and dashes incel/loveshy male frustrations and pain. All these bs “be a man” articles(when almost all non incel guys in reality never act like they say you should in those “be the alpha male” articles). Forums like puahate are good, but are now shit rife with trolling memeners and mods, loveshy is BARELY active, and it’s pretty good but is VERY hit or miss with its “redpill” info on there. There is nowhere in real life or on the internet to turn to when you think about it, except for bloggers like you, and even though male incelism is bigger on the net than it was, it’s still not garnered enough attention/turned outta the darkness enough to make a breakthrough for mainstream attention at all. Which is why I’m glad guys like you are fighting….. But still… I’m so goddamn alone man, I go to a school with over 2300 sheep(people), and out of them I can count the number of them that have said one word to me on my left hand. I hate the fact that I’m expected to “cope” with this. When the exact same people who tell me my pain isn’t real wouldn’t last one second in my position, and they whine and bitch(ESPECIALLY THE GIRLS) after not having a damn boyfriend for ONE WEEK. After having several partners back to back to back to back. Porn and video games, the breadcrumbs, aren’t enough for me. I feel like a starving man looking into a restaurant watching people eat steak and lobster. Damn ANYONE who tells me it is. And I’m starting to feel like I SHOULDNT have anyone, and I’m not good enough at all. I think that I deserve to be alone now, and that I’m starting to feel ashamed of having sexual desires of girls and stuff. I feel like a fucking 1500’s catholic heretic for actually looking at a girl on the eyes now….. I used to hear how “good looking” I was, , mostly from people trying to shut me up and get me to leave them alone, I swear I look, and feel uglier each day(which I’m now in one of my phases to where I believe that’s my problem). If I even TRY to speak out about this, I’m met with apathy, ignorance, or hostility. To add insult to injury,being incel gets you the “hidden in plain sight” mistreatment and outcasting you get from almost everyone. And everyone acts like they’re too good for you. And we already know girls HATE inexperienced guys. It’s not the worst part of being incel, but again it adds insult to injury.

        How much of this can you relate?

  7. I’m so emotionally and physically drained from all this it’s a struggle to get outta bed in the morning. All the lies I’ve been fed by society, all the bs cliches and shit. I became red pill WAY TOO LATE, I should had this shit explained to me when I was in middle school(when cliques start to form and people start to behave like they do later) but no…. I didn’t. Seeing all these prime young girls in front of me daily feeling like I’m not worthy enough. Not feeling HUMAN on a day to day basis is just fucked up. And being expected to and DEMANDED to function even though we have this unbearable condition is something that I can’t take too much longer. Whenever I speak out about this(confide in people) I get VILIFIED, knowing damn well that if ANY of these nocels were put in my situation for even a MINUTE, they’d have probably turned to suicide or some shit.Im scared that I’ll die alone. I’m scared I’ll graduate without having had anyone. I know that it DOES NOT(contrary to most bs cliches) get any easier the older you get. The women get uglier, they get more superficial, they get married and have kids all this shit. And even if it didn’t I want someone NOW, same as any girl who wants a boyfriend wants one NOW, what’s the difference? They can get one, I couldn’t even get a girl to vomit on me if I had a time bomb strapp’d to my chest threatening to destroy the planet. The pain is unbearable, and having been thru all the hurt I’ve been thru with just trying to find a girl, I’m too scared to even look one in the eye when they talk to me.(IF they even acknowledge the fucking fact that I exist) I’ve also been in the “nice guy” situation before. I’m still trying to break out of it too. Anyways sorry if I’ve gone on for too long and I sound like I’m just some stupid kid, but your thoughts and warnings would be nice.

  8. Hi,
    I feel compelled to address some things that I’ve read on your blog, particularly in the wake of CaptainKidd’s comments. First, I want to acknowledge that I had never heard of incel or love shyness until I came across your blog, and while I feel like I have a fairly informed understanding at this point, I’m not going to pretend like I totally get it. I am not incel or love shy, though I experienced very severe social phobia during adolescence and my early 20’s, and I’m fairly positive that one of my cousins committed suicide because of his experience as an incel, and so in that way, perhaps I have a bit more of a connection to this than others who randomly stumble across your blog. I am also a psychologist, and while it seems that you have (close to) nothing but contempt for this field and those who practice, I hope that you might consider my thoughts on the matter in the same way that I did yours: with openness and curiosity. I’m not commenting in order to start an argument, or even a debate, but rather offer some hope in what I see as an extremely bleak and life-threatening situation. Basically, I am concerned, and I see that there are a lot of (understandable) questions on this site, and not many answers.

    Our Western culture is no doubt one that operates in extreme stereotypes and promulgates stigmas against those who go against the status quo. There are certain gender expectations that are perpetuated from birth, to the extent that those who do not subscribe – for whatever reason – are often left feeling like outcasts, and in this process, often become outcasts. One of these expectations is that boys/men should be sexually and relationally proficient. I can see what a devastating impact this can have on young men who feel shy/uncomfortable/awkward/etc around the opposite sex. The fears become exacerbated and self-perpetuating, circling in a downward spiral of self-hatred AND hatred against those who are involved. At first it is hatred against certain people in particular, a girl who laughed at you, a woman who called you a name, a therapist who dismissed your experience, but as the negative experiences continue and the aftermath more disastrous, general feelings of disdain against entire populations seems reasonable. ALL women are this, ALL feminists are that, ALL liberals are… etc… The fact of the matter is, sweeping generalizations can never fully capture the human experience. No doubt, SOME women are horrible, SOME feminists are misandrous, SOME liberals are lunatics, but not all. Never all. (For the record, I am not saying that you necessarily feel this way – I don’t know you and can only get a glimpse of who you are through your blog – but I get the impression that this line of thinking is becoming increasingly prevalent among populations who are constantly spurned by others, and I want to comment on the process that I’m seeing.) This line of thinking, which comes from real life rejections and understandable reactions, only serves to exacerbate and perpetuate the problem. Perhaps women did not like this person at first because he was somewhat awkward or insecure, but they certainly don’t like him when he starts spewing hate about women, or resorts to rape or murder to reconcile his deep feelings of isolation and rejection, which seems to be the unfortunate consequence after a life of rejection and humiliation.

    And now, all of this to say: I firmly and resolutely believe that there is hope and that love shyness can “be beat” – and not just when someone is 15 and has no clue about love shyness to begin with. I want CaptainKidd to know that this horrendous pain CAN subside and that, honestly, life CAN get better. As a therapist, I really do have a conviction that therapy is the answer here. I know you are very skeptical and I’m sure you have very valid reasons for your skepticism, but the answer lies in a truly empathic, skilled psychotherapist who will recognize and honor this very real experience and help you heal by exploring the life circumstances contributing to love shyness and barriers preventing healing. Some behavioral interventions may be useful (such as is efficacious with phobias), but I do not believe CBT will be as effective as psychotherapy. What is necessary is a corrective experience and a genuine sense of self-love and acceptance, which becomes all the more difficult as love shyness progresses and spreads. I have some speculations about this condition, and suspect that there were certain life circumstances many love shy individuals have experienced, as well as specific barriers preventing recovery. I could go into it if you’re interested, but since I’ve already written a novel, I’ll abstain.

    Ultimately, please know that everything I have said is only coming from a place of compassion and care. I hate to see such hopelessness, fear, and anguish when there is most certainly an alternative. Of course it won’t be easy, but I can’t imagine this suffering is particularly easy either. Take care.

    • arklow,

      The basic question is which is broken, thatincelblogger or Western culture. One cannot simply assume that society is always right and individuals who are against society are always wrong. As an example, consider the prophet Jeremiah who was considered crazy by his society, when in fact Jeremiah was right and his society was utterly corrupt.

      I am not a psychologist, but I have done some reading in the area and I have diagnosed Western culture as suffering from psychopathy. This doesn’t mean that ALL members of Western culture are psychopaths. What it means is that the level of psychopathic behavior is significantly higher in Western culture than in other cultures. What is considered normal behavior in Western culture today would be considered crazy (psychopathic) by a culture like the Puritans. Women in general are attracted to men who conform to cultural norms. So those men who find it difficult to act like a psychopath will be rejected by Western women.

      In the case of someone like thatincelblogger, there are 2 possible solutions. One is to blame himself and seek therapy, as you suggest. Through therapy, he may learn to become somewhat more psychopathic but I doubt he will ever be highly successful. The other solution is to recognize Western culture as defective, to look for a wife outside of Western culture, to socialize in a religion that rejects Western culture, and to be utterly ruthless in business since members of Western culture don’t deserve moral treatment. This is the approach that I took, and it has worked for me.

    • Arklow,

      1. I don’t despise psychology or psychiatry, I despise people who see it as a panacea and psychologists and psychiatrists as gods (if we take a better look we’ll see that these gods are created to mirror the idiots creating them- they’re supposedly all-powerful but dumb enough to deny incel). I also consider these two inefficient when it comes to incel. But I’m not against them existing.

      2. You do have somewhat of a point in that not all liberals or feminists are this and that. However, the core tenants of these things are rotten and evil so most people who are these things are rotten and evil too. There’s no getting around that. A society which doesn’t massacre its feminists and liberals is a doomed one.

      3. I don’t believe in your assertion that love-shyness can be treated but therapy. You have to practice with women sooner or later. Or did you have that in mind too? In any case, maybe you’re right. I am not claiming you’re a snake oil salesman, maybe you’re not. But all I know is that therapy never helped me and I’m done seeking it. So, in order to confirm what you’re saying you’d have to find a love-shy person and cure him/her. That’d be a start.

      4. Even if LS could be beaten later (which I never claimed it couldn’t, I beat it at 23) THE POINT IS THAT THE LATER IT IS BEATEN THE MORE LIKELY IT WILL MAKE YOU PERMANENTLY INCEL.

      Also, I’m interested in everything else you have to say. Sorry about the late reply, was busy.

      • excuse me sir, would you at all mind sharing with some of us, what it was you did to beat it at 23? Not assuming it will work for everyone, but for maybe someone else.

        • Well, there wasn’t much I did. If you read the posts on my life you’d know that by the time I was 23 I already had, though I was still a virgin, experiences like the girl I called TFO or an 8 month relationship behind me. Thus it was already different and easier than when I was, say, 18. While those experiences before I was 23 were initiated by women it still left me in a position to be able to initiate things easier. So when I met some bizzare, ugly girl in 2011 I wasn’t afraid of how she’ll react either and these circumstances created the perfect storm for me to kiss her first. Also, what must remembered is that I just defeated love-shyness and not incel entirely at the age of 23. In order to understand all this I highly recommend the Feb 26, 2014 post called Darkness,

          • I have read some of the Darkness, very extensive no doubt. I only wish YOU to be BETTER CAAMIB, my suffering friend, and if I had an answer, I would heal you. I would like to post my story, maybe in an article form HERE, but how does one do so?

            • You can post a comment in the thread of your choosing. I can’t let people post their own articles, this is not a forum. Also, notice that Darkness is from 2014. Things have somewhat changed since. I am just not capable of writing right now.

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