Required reading to understand this post better:
What is love-shyness?
Love-shyness 1- my experience with love-shyness
Love-shyness 2- resources about love-shyness
This post will be a the final one of my series on love-shyness. I will try to make some final conclusions about love-shyness.
1. LOVE-SHYNESS DEFINITELY EXISTS
It is sad I even have to point this out. Pointing out that love-shyness exists would be as unnecessary as pointing out that any other phobia exists, or, for that matter, that cats or chairs exists – if we were living in a sane world. Unfortunately, we are not. We are living in a world where a certain fascist cancer is spreading its lunacy as an unquestionable dogma.
So, when somebody tells you that love-shyness doesn’t exist because such a term isn’t in the DSM just try to remember what they are actually denying – they are denying that there are people who are unable to approach a member of the opposite sex with romantic intent, even in the case of knowing that the result will not be a rejection, that there are people unable to make romantic/sexual initiative towards a person they know without that person doing anything like that first, even in the case of knowing that the result will not be a rejection and that there are people unable to reciprocate romantic/sexual interest of others, ie often afraid to reciprocate indicators of interest.
A sane person knows that discussing with people who seriously make this claim is a waste of time. They are lunatics.
2. LOVE-SHYNESS IS A PHOBIA
The diagnostic criteria for 300.29 Specific Phobias as outlined by the DSM-IV-TR are:
1. Marked and persistent fear that is excessive or unreasonable, cued by the presence or anticipation of a specific object or situation (e.g., flying, heights, animals, receiving an injection, seeing blood).
2. Exposure to the phobic stimulus almost invariably provokes an immediate anxiety response, which may take the form of a situationally bound or situationally predisposed panic attack.
3. The person recognizes that the fear is excessive or unreasonable.
4. The phobic situation(s) is avoided or else is endured with intense anxiety or distress.
5. The avoidance, anxious anticipation or distress in the feared situation(s) interferes significantly with the person’s normal routine, occupational (or academic) functioning, or social activities or relationships, or there is marked distress about having the phobia.
6. In individuals under the age of 18, the duration is at least 6 months.
7.The anxiety, panic attack, or phobic avoidance associated with the specific object or situation are not better accounted for by another mental disorder, such as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (e.g., fear of dirt in someone with an obsession about contamination), posttraumatic stress disorder (e.g., avoidance of stimuli associated with a severe stressor), separation anxiety disorder (e.g., avoidance of school), social phobia (e.g., avoidance of social situations because of fear of embarrassment), panic disorder with agoraphobia, or agoraphobia without history of panic disorder.
Love-shyness obviously fits all the criteria.
1. The fear is obviously excessive and unreasonable as there is nothing very dangerous about doing things love-shyness prevents you from doing. It is triggered by specific situations.
2. Everybody who experienced love-shyness knew that they were so terrified of approaching or expressing interest that just thinking about it was impossible.
3. I never met a love-shy person who claimed that his or her fear is somehow justified. They all know it’s an irrational impulse.
4. If some of these men and women had to approach potential partners under gunpoint many would still not be able to do it or pass out of fear.
5.Being young and love-shy is a disaster, especially for males. It makes it unlikely that they will ever have a relationship or sex. Love-shyness is one of the major causes of incel, which itself causes enough distress.
6. Love-shyness almost always starts in early teenage years as teenagers began to be interested in the opposite sex.
7. I think there are very good arguments to claim that love-shyness is a specific phobia, which I will describe in the next part.
3. LOVE-SHYNESS IS NOT SOCIAL PHOBIA/SOCIAL ANXIETY !!!
There are those who claim that love-shyness is merely social phobia. Such people, if I can even call them that, are just slightly less insane than those described in my first section.
There are usually two types of such people.
The first types are almost as brain dead as the first section types who just straight out deny that it exists and don’t want to listen to any arguments. Anyway, the this type of lunatics believe that love-shyness is just social phobia and don’t want to argue any further.
The second type of lunatics will try to argue their idea a bit and say that love-shyness is social phobia as it somehow deals with, you know… people.
I took a look at the list of phobias and found that there are different names for phobias of two numbers (!!). Yet this should somehow be the same thing? LOVE-SHYNESS IS MUCH MORE NARROW THAN A SOCIAL PHOBIA, and I explicitly make this distinction by saying
1. Talk to members of the opposite sex when not taking romantic/sexual initiative without being horribly anxious
2. Make initiative to get to know better a member of the opposite sex they already met without romantic/sexual intention
3. Make a cold approach to a member of the opposite sex without romantic/sexual intention
are not signs of love-shyness but social phobia.
4. LOVE-SHYNESS SHOULD BE IN THE DSM – BUT LIKELY UNDER A DIFFERENT NAME
I really explained most of this in previous parts. It is an utter shame that something like this isn’t in the DSM. The reasons why it isn’t are somewhat complex but amount to the huge stigma around this problem, the fact that psychiatry is mostly bullshit and the fact that shrinks themselves were probably never love-shy.
Of course that it shouldn’t go there under the name “love-shyness” but some kind of specific romantic phobia but it should definitely be there.
5. LOVE-SHYNESS IS BOTH A MALE AND A FEMALE PROBLEM- HOWEVER….
I believe that love-shyness affects men and women equally. However, this doesn’t mean that they will have the same experience and prognosis with their love-shyness. Despite what the delusional TAC idiots will tell you men are the ones expected to initiate things in this culture. And this exactly the reason why it will be easier for women to beat love-shyness, as their chances of the other side taking the initiative are much higher. If a woman is somewhat socialized, doesn’t look terrible and isn’t picky she has to be extremely love-shy, to the point of inability to reciprocate any advances, for love-shyness to be her long-term problem.
These are facts.
6. LOVE-SHYNESS CAN MESS UP YOUR LIFE TO THE POINT OF KILLING YOU – ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE MALE
Unless you are an extremely rich and attractive man, which will make women chase you, love-shyness is a good indicator against against you having a girlfriend or sexual experiences, possibly ever. Point 5 explains why it usually isn’t like that for women.
It will make you incel since your teens and you will suffer a lot. There’s no getting around that. While there is always a chance for a miracle expect to suffer for a long time. This isn’t a phobia of spiders or some shit you need to avoid – this is a phobia that makes you scared of essential things. It will endanger your health. There is one general rule about this whole entire thing – the longer you’re incel the harder it is to beat it. And we all know that incel kills.
The 50 year-old man I’m talking about in this post had been love-shy all of his life until he turned 50 he could finally take it no more.
7. LOVE-SHYNESS ALMOST CERTAINLY CAN’T BE BEATEN BY THERAPY
I am saying almost certainly for one reason only – I don’t know about any experiences with CBT and love-shyness. Theoretically it is possible that CBT can help in some cases. However, even in the unlikely case that it would help some people, I am quite unconvinced that it would help as efficiently as some other, better methods that have been proposed.
As for any other form of therapy or drugs it is certainly a pure waste of time if you want to treat love-shyness. You can’t talk your way out of this nor can you change this with anti-depressants or other medicine.
8. THERE WERE ALREADY PROPOSALS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH LOVE-SHYNESS
Brian Gilmartin, who I mentioned in previous articles on love-shyness mentioned practice dating as a way of dealing with this phobia.
This was my idea
Program for treating love-shyness
Due to their phobia, love-shy males can’t be treated as pure incel males. In order for them to be cured their erotophobia must be defeated. To achieve this goal women, all of whom would freely apply and be paid for it, would teach these men how to cuddle and kiss – which, to most of them, would be their first experience of these things. In the end, once their phobia has receded, there would be an option of these women sleeping with them, but only if both parties agree. If any of these males refuse to have their first time that way their wishes would be respected. Also, if a woman who had been this man’s dating coach for some reason refuses to sleep with him her wish should be respected and some other woman in the program should sleep with him.
This program would eliminate love-shyness. After it is completed formerly love-shy participants could join a program for incels or try meeting women on their own.
9. SOCIETY WILL PROBABLY NEVER RECOGNIZE LOVE-SHYNESS AS A SPECIFIC PHOBIA, LET ALONE DEAL WITH IT PROPERLY
We are living in an idiocracy and barbarism. Scientists are mostly leftist scum whose religion doesn’t allow them to deal with these issues. Most of psychiatry is a hoax.
Even if this problem were to be recognized one day tax payers this doesn’t mean that it will be dealt with any better than it is now. Whoever thinks that the government will do something about this is wrong.
10. YOU CAN BEAT YOUR LOVE-SHYNESS – DO SO BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE !
Love-shyness can be beaten. If I were able to talk to myself at 15 I think I’d scare the kid so much by merely telling him what will happen if he doesn’t get over this phobia that he’d be more frightened of not getting over it than the phobia itself.
The disaster which befell me was just a re-run of many similar tragic destinies of anonymous broken men, some of which are described in Gilmartin’s book. Anybody who doesn’t beat this might suffer the similar fate.
Your fear is not real. Oh, I know it is very real for you. But you just have to do it. You have to feel the fear and do it anyway. I don’t care if you will shake, puke, sweat or cry. Do it anyway. It’s extremely unlikely that somebody else will do it for you. And unless you do it you’re in big, big trouble. Every day you’re living with this fear means you’re one day closer to doom.
11. PLEASE, BECOME AWARE OF LOVE-SHYNESS IN YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
If you read all three of these texts you should by now be somewhat aware of the problem. Please, help your love-shy family and friends.
Children, especially male chilren, are especially important because they’re the most vulnerable ones and their problem has the best chance of being solved. I proposed The Prostitute Scam for parents of love-shy male children.
In this scam they would hire a prostitute to live as a tenant and pretend to seduce the teenager. It is crucial that this happens as early as first signs of interest in girls and love-shyness can be recognized.
12. BE EMPATHETIC OR GO FUCK YOURSELF
Love-shyness is a serious, dangerous phobia. If it isn’t dealt with it will probably ruin the person’s life. Unless you have respect and understanding for these facts you are not a human being but a hate machine.
If you ever ask yourself if my views on what I call TAC are correct or not ask yourself what an average “compassionate”, bleeding heart, social justice crusader thinks about this devastating malady. Only then will you understand how necessary it is to eradicate all liberals.
And with this ends my serial on love-shyness.
a victim of love-shyness
and all other victims of love-shyness
May they know peace