This is a new letter series I will be starting on this blog. Its content will be the letters I will be sending to a judge every month, beginning her to help me.
I am addressing you with hopes that you’ll review my statements and requests as soon as possible and with the utmost diligence. My situation is extremely difficult and I don’t have a lot of time. It is frightening that I have to send this letter in they year 2013, so many years after our first meeting. This letter is one my last hopes that you will finally recognize truth and reason.
I am begging you to save my life, to have enough reason and compassion for us to solve this situation which has been destroying me of over a decade.
Over 5 years have passed since the farcical court process in which I was accused for a non-existent crime. Even during this process you have sent me to talks with a psychiatrist and a social worker. Neither have understood my problems. This was a clear warning to me and I’d point out these distressing facts every time in court. But that wasn’t a good enough warning for you and you told me lies about psychiatry solving problem. You have also laughed at my problem, even when I begged you to declare me guilty and give me years of jail if that somehow meant that I will get a girlfriend. That perfect girl I was supposed to meet on the court steps after bumping into her by accident… well, she never appeared.
After the trial both you and the system turned your backs on me. Even so, I tried to get help on my own, changing psychiatrists, none of whom wanted to help me with women or sleep with me. Once I arrived to a police station with the same request I was pushed outside brutally.
My life didn’t get better during these last 5 years. During this time I have suffered traumas worse than those experienced before the end of 2008. You cannot even fathom what is it lie to be in a sexless relationships lasting 8 months for no other reason than your own inhibitions, just to be abandoned and completely broken after your partners leaves you. Once I finally experienced sex I was already 24 and it was too little and too late, and came with a new trauma. This year’s events, when, finally liberated from any fears and mental barriers, I tried to find a girlfriend and failed completely in doing so were the final nail to my coffin.
Your shameful acts will follow you until the rest of your life. Still, I am giving you a chance to show yourself as a moral and reasonable person and not as somebody with blood on her hands. Please, try to remember that you have kids of your own who might suffer the same problems I have one day.
In 2008 you asked me what I want. I said I want three things- arrests, arrests and arrests. My parents have committed severe crimes, just like those therapists who have refused to help me. These people must be criminally processed and that is more important than ever these days.
But what is even more important is for me to get help. I am giving you a chance for this. Put no more blood on your hands. I’ve been through enough suffering. Contact me and help me solve this problem. Don’t allow yourself to be a culprit in my death.
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MURDER PEOPLE. I am prostrating myself before you like a sacrificial lamb, begging for your mercy.