I met this beautiful and intelligent girl.
Has she rejected me? No.
But she doesn’t really live where I do. I mean, she does, but only officially. She actually lives somewhere between here, her birthplace and the location abroad she wants to move to. Can we ever be together? No, we can’t. Not really. Even if she doesn’t move abroad I don’t think so. It would just be torture.
I came home after meeting her, cried like a baby, took enough sleeping pills that it could have killed me, slept for 16 hours, and now I’m just numb.
Can’t anything ever be right with me?
I am not a good person to write about incel. I am simply too fucked up. Not because of my beliefs, I know that the could help incels. It’s because I am really still incel myself and events like these make me unable to function, let alone present any kind of online presence. I am completely lost in pain.
Maybe I’ll continue one day but I doubt it. It’s all nonsense.
My ideas will never come true in real life.
All I have is pain.