I guess it had to happen someday and it did, by the time I falsely believed that chemistry could only be a mutual thing or be nonexistent.
A girl who swept me off my feet rejected me. This has never ever happened to me before. I mean, I did chase girls who didn’t want me but they no longer wanted me. All of my dates were either with mutual chemistry or mutual agreement that there’s no point in being more than friends. I was never ever rejected by a girl I liked on a first date. Until today.
I will not deny that her looks played a part in my attraction to her. She is, quite simply, the most beautiful girl I have ever went on a date with. The only one that could be compared with her was the one when I fucked up and fell asleep in September 2007. And I think she’s even prettier than her.
But the way she talks, her wit and mannerissms are so damn cute too. I just like her, a lot.
She doesn’t like me. She doesn’t even want a second meeting. I didn’t even ask her for it but honestly said that, things being the way the are, it would probably be better for me if I never saw her again and she agreed. I should just block her now and forget about this sad affair.
This shook me so much that I sobbed like a child when I came home. Why can’t I have a girl I like for once?
Well, tomorrow I’m gonna smoke pot with and fuck that girl I’m seeing, that should make me feel better. Or not. Who am I kidding? I should just break it off with her, but I can’t. I can’t be alone again…. even if I still am. But I’m at least getting sex and some companionship, even with a stupid hick like her.
I hate this fucking shit.