An example of a letter to my government

This was written last year

It has been eight years since I’ve been aware of my attraction to women and five years since I’ve managed to arrange my first date. During that time, I was unable to attract most women for a longer period of time and my successes were always followed by painful mistakes and mishandling I was unable to rescind. 


These unfortunate events have brought immense suffering upon me and my family.

It is now the eight year of my involunatary celibacy, a condition both painful and demotivational in every aspect of my life. This is why I request the following

a) that the government of this country find means to find me a girlfriend within the next 2 weeks

b) that this transaction is to happen without anybody being forced into having a relationship with me, with appropriate people giving me skills and introducing me to interested girls

c) that this is to be done under discrete circumstances.

 

I have yet to receive a reply.

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