What is involuntary celibacy and why the need for help?

I consider involuntary celibacy to be the inablity to obtain romantic relationship or sex for 6 months or more.

Online communities for involuntary celibates ( which I will discuss later, as I have formed a certain opinion about every of them) make the following definitions

Love-shy.com: What is involuntary celibacy (incel?) 
Short answer: It’s datelessness! It’s romantic inexperience, and extreme difficulty forming romantic relationships.

Incel Support: Involuntary celibacy (or incel) is the state of a person who has not established an intimate relationship or engaged in sexual intercourse for reasons other than voluntary celibacy or sexual abstinence. The term is used especially for adults who, despite general expectations, have had little to no sexual or romantic experience.

Consequences of being unable to find a romantic partner or gain any sexual experiences vary from plain grumpiness to suicide and even worse – murder suicides. I’ve seen three suicides happen due to involuntary celibacy. A famous example of a murder suicide due to involuntary celibacy is George Sodini.

One thing I noticed and will write about more later is that these view isn’t politically correct. It is much easier to say “he was depressed” or he “he would be better off with some counseling” than admit that voluntary celibacy is a problem. What makes this nonsensical line of thinking worse is that plenty of men who are involuntary celibate themselves have low sex drives and don’t see it as that big of a problem.Women are also less likely to think of it as a problem since most women have a wide variety of options, with men  being expected to be the pursuers.

The unpleasant fact is that involuntary celibacy is a problem of it’s own and that while depression can be caused by it simply treating depression in a person who is truly bothered by incel is like treating fever in a cancer patient – it will not remove the root cause.

On the other hand, there are plenty of men and women with diagnoses of clinical depression who are in relationships.

Don’t believe the lies about involuntary celibacy being a normal state or that it is caused by depression. I am convinced that if everybody was made involuntary celibate for 5 years this world would be a very dangerous place. Involuntary celibacy is dangerous and needs to be resolved.

11 thoughts on “What is involuntary celibacy and why the need for help?

  1. I honestly can’t tell if this is a joke or a spoof so apologies if it is and I’ve just fallen for it!

    The government helps with access to resources. A government helps provide entitlements, like food, or shelter, or water. A girlfriend is not a resource. Access to the life and body of a female human being is not something ANYONE is entitled to. If women are choosing not to have sex with you then that is perfectly fair. Why should they? Because you want them to? I want a lot of things.

    What is really interesting about this blog post is that you haven’t written anything here about why any girl or woman should want you? What you have to offer them? Why you even want a girlfriend – apart from lack of sex being unhealthy. Why would someone want to have sex/a relationship with someone who wants “a girlfriend”, as if “a girlfriend” is some abstract thing, and you want a girl, any girl, to have sex with? That isn’t attractive, is it? It’s hardly flattering.

    Sorry but this is how human attraction and human relationships – friendships, sex, everything – work. You have to actually like a specific female human being. And then get to know her. Find out if she likes you. If she doesn’t, then you respect it and move on. They have to choose you because they like you. And part of that is feeling that you have chosen them because you like them as well!

    “Enforced celibacy” means “women not choosing to have sex with you.” What is the alternative? Remove the element of choice in the matter for women? What are you actually suggesting here? That the government runs some kind of dating service? How would that be better for you than any other kind of dating service? I am scared you’re actually suggesting the government force people to go out with each other! Government enforced rape? If women choose not to have sex with you now, what are you suggesting to actually make them change their minds and consent? You either find someone who chooses sex with you and/or work at it, or you ignore choice and consent and just force them (which is obviously rape as I’m sure you know). There’s no other option here.

    Sorry but you scare me. It is as if you have no concept of women’s right to not have sex with you.

    • Hey, thank you for your comment, I appreciate it. This blog is not a parody so don’t worry.

      As for your what you are saying here unfortunately there is too much wrong with your comment for me to reply to everything now, especially with my current nausea and failing health.
      I suggest you keep reading the blog because new submissions will come and strategies for government finding people partners will be described. You obviously missed the sentence “Various programmes would contain no coercion and would be beneficial to all parties” but everything will be made clear to you soon, I hope.

      Government wouldn’t force anybody to be with in a relationship or have sex with somebody but institute some programs for people meeting each other. It would still be up to them to decide if they want the person they meet as a partner.
      I will explain how this would be different from current dating sites and agencies too.

      Stay well.

  2. “I am convinced that if everybody was made involuntary celibate for 5 years this world would be a very dangerous place. ”

    The world already is a very dangerous place.

    • I might agree, but I meant compared to now. If everybody was made involuntary celibate for 5 years it would be zombie apocalypse dangerous.

  3. Incell dude here.
    I never put a finger on anyone and i am 100%certainly not planning to,

    But on an emotional level i feel like ripping a person in half pretty much constantly
    I have zero motivation to get a job or do anything ussefull .

    I basicaly feel like the way they treath me is the worse possible.
    I tell myself a 100times a day “please die now”

    I feel more horrible then how horrible i feel in general right now
    I just have to talk to somebody/something

    I am a drain on society, and there is nothing i can do about it
    I get demonised while i show contraint and have never put a finger on anybody.
    I wanna die, i am not even allowed to do this.

    F*ck the world. F*ck humankind, F*ck nature
    It will al go soon because of the climate problems,
    I am pretty much convinced they are a lot worse then 99%of people think.
    And i aplaude it. let the world starve to death, i don`t give a sh*t
    Let it happen, you bunch of motherf*ckers.
    I hope the mass crop-faillures will start as soon as possible,
    So i will be relieved of my suffering rellatively soon.

    I have psychriatric help, for 13years now(i am 28 years old). my suicidal toughts just get worse and worse
    Just lack the balls to do anything about it.

    Bye, from someone who got called a really nice guy a lott

    • It’s interesting you have mentioned psychiatric help. I had a lot of it too. It is useless for us. Those who recommend it have no empathy at all and think being in pain for being alone is a psychological illness instead of a normal reaction.

      I am also pretty much done with this world.

      • Since i figured out i am not brave enough to kill myself.
        So i am trying to get some heavy psychiatric medication just to numb my feelings
        The thing is. they numb all your feellings, also fear.
        Maybe when i am on these for a while i will be brave enough to kill myself.

        I will never be brave enough to do this.
        Butt i actually think i should commit suicide very publicaly.
        As an allternative to what the sodini`s and rogers of this world do,
        I want to make the statemend, i don`t want to hurt anybody

      • To be a 100%honest i had psychiatric help
        i had psychiatric help 15 to 20years old, then had a break tried alternatives
        4years ago my mom arranged i should go back into psychiatry becuase i was suicidal

        It will not seriously help only a slight relieve at most.
        I am not on med`s right now, and i explain in the other reply what my plans are.

  4. Without sex in a loving relationship there is no point in living. Sex is an essential part of life. I have adult autism and have never had sex in a loving relationship. I sometimes wish I was dead but would not have the gits to do it.

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